Throw away account obviously but I’m sitting here, on a Friday night alone. I recently split off with my fiancee of 2 years, we were supposed to be wed in a few months. Shes off partying and living life up, and I’m happy for her. We still live together for the time being before our lease ends. This is exactly how my previous relationship ended. Ironic. She has a social circle to support her.
Well, throughout the course of 5 years, I have slowly burned many bridges of friends and over the course of 10 years, have destroyed many women’s perception of trust. The list goes on. My regret and guilt is an all time high.
On top of this, my family doesn’t really know the real me. I have such a hard time making connections with them and others at this point of my life.
I am seeking to rectify the entire situation by trying some therapeutic techniques. AMA.
It’s hard to say. Humans are the epitome of change and impermanence. It seems more likely that I (and all of humanity) will go through changes our whole lives. There is nothing we can do about it but to accept it. My perception of reality is that its cruel. Similar to how the world of Berserk by Kentaro Miura is set up. I don’t necessarily feel stuck in my ways, as I have recently discovered that I am a creature of habit, but I can overcome that with enough effort, and direct it towards a positive change.
Take care and keep rolling dices. Some pieces are ought to fall into their places, and some you’d push in yourself. Good luck.
I agree, I am trying my hardest everyday, to be the best that I can be. To prove to myself that I’m not a total liability.