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Not only that but the comments I get when I finally have a productive day. “See, I knew you could do it! Why don’t you just do this every day?”
It’s like training for a marathon, finally running said marathon and having people blame you for not just running a full marathon every day in the first place. Clearly you can, so why don’t you?
Except you did the marathon in a world record time, and almost every other time you attempted it, you couldn’t get halfway through at a walking pace.
Also if you don’t complete the marathon every day then you get kicked out of your home and die in the streets.
I always forget to be proud of - or even acknowledge - my achievements 😩
It’s so hard when all you see around you is incomplete imperfection.
Give yourself permission to be unproductive. Life is about more than busting your ass.
It sucks when I finally do accomplish something I’ve been trying to get done for so long and I get 0 satisfaction out of it. Just the thought “I should’ve been able to do this better”
Just the thought “I should’ve been able to do this better”
That, or “there’s twenty other things that still need to be done.” Or, ya know, both. No feelings of progress, no satisfaction, just another step forward on the hamster wheel.
For anyone out there that can’t relate to this, I’m glad. I hope it stays that way.
I aced the first 3 months at a new job, even got a raise and I was complimented that if everyone was like me the business would be on a whole another level.
…aaand at that point I had learned most of what was new and interesting and now all that’s left is routine tasks – and I’m dying. It got so boring so fast that my brain switched into serious dissociation and depression. I could just sit back and enjoy the easy job and get paid but no. Suddenly it’s a struggle to finish just a simple email. Fuck this.
That’s why I like my labor job. Interesting or not, it engages the hyper bit so I can just keep moving the whole time
I was diagnosed at 39 while working for the company I’m currently with. At the time I was a welder. Since then I’ve been promoted into the office.
I had NO IDEA how much that physical job was helping me to control my stupid brane.
