As a kid, I used to purposely stick my fingers between prongs while plugging Christmas lights in in order to electrocute myself. It’s shocking that I came out from that unscathed.

Against my best judgement, I read the whole thing. (You practically begged me to!) He’s just offering incredibly disingenuous “talking points” for “liberal Christians” that are actually things you might say to an atheist. The whole thing just exists to characterize non-conservative Christians as fake Christians.