In my dreams, you lay your sorrow on the table, and the air between us is soft and we have time.
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“Disability” is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
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I have a suggestion for you. Its gonna sound stupid and you’re ok for telling me to fuck off.
Get a really cool cane. Like one with flames painted on it, or floral patterns carved into the handle, or something like that. You dont even need to use it more than once or twice, you can borrow it if you want and deliver it back after having tried it.
If you need a cane you need a cane, and any asshole who would judge you for that will judge you for any perceived weakness and can fuck off anyway. Anyone in any kind of care situation should be sensitive anyway.
So own it. You clearly feel shame around it, but you shouldn’t need to. You haven’t done anything wrong by needing a cane, and its a part of your daily wear anyway so make it something cool. And if its a cool accessory then the conversation can switch from “Oh theyre disabled” to “Check out my bitching cane”, and the conversation can be about something besides your disability, or at least it can be about your disability in the context of who you are and how you express yourself.
not a stupid suggestion at all and once i have the finances i will most likely be getting my hands on one. i ran into a super cool cane a few years back at a thrift store that was wood-carved, but it was way too tall for me and i’ve been wanting a similar one ever since haha. a lot of my shame around my cane usage just stems from self-invalidation and feeling like i’m “not disabled/in pain enough” to justify using a mobility aid, which is something i’ve been trying to address and work through but i still have a long way to go. i appreciate the kind words and advice!