I thought this way for years. Turns out men actually want to be men, and I am much happier being a girl!

  • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    As an afab probable egg, I do think that many cis women might want to be men, just because of the patriarchy. I can’t find it, but there’s a quote I read somewhere about wishing that you could just go on adventures like men do (I have a hazy idea that it was from Sylvia Plath or Audrey Hepburn, but I can’t search for clear enough terms to avoid pages and pages of slop). It stuck with me, because I think there are a lot of areas that women are (to varying degrees) locked out of. There are also lots of Mulan-type stories about afab people who pretend to be men for a period of time in order to do something they wouldn’t have been able to do as a woman, then go back to living as women. We obviously don’t know their feelings on gender, but that reads like they’re cis women to me.

    • renamon_silver@lemmy.wtf
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      3 months ago

      In my opinion, wanting the benefits of the patriarchy is different than wanting to be a man, with the acknowledgement that there can be some overlap between the two. Where Mulan’s military service was temporary and brought about by external pressures, a trans man likely would not need the threat of an elderly family member being drafted to war to make the change, nor want to go back to living as a woman. But at the same time I’m sure there are women like Mulan.

    • RebekahWSD@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Yeah. I, cis woman, sit down once a year or so and ask myself a lot of questions (am I happy here, do I still want to be doing x) and one of them is, “am I a woman?” And the answer is “yes, despite how much this society makes that suck ass”. In my head I’m a woman. I do wish I had way less tit. I might be getting that soon though. Cancer scares suck ass though.

      • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        I honestly can’t tell if I want to be a man, or if I don’t want people to think about my gender (which it seems like happens for men). I know I don’t want to be sexualized and I do want to be treated like “one of the boys” by everyone except my husband, but I can’t tell if it goes further than that. Luckily, I married a bi dude who’s down for whatever, so I don’t have to choose between us if I get a bunch more dysphoric in the future.

        • RebekahWSD@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Yeah, I very much get the ‘no one else should be thinking about my gender’ thing. I’d like a nice slightly less decaying metal body and no one to perceive me unless I want them to!