No matter how hard I try to read up on this or ask for people’s help, I cannot tell when another person is attracted to me. And I feel bad about it, because what am I supposed to do if I want to do anything flirtatious or date? Trial and error? Just try it with anyone I think is attractive until I learn what the patterns are? Sounds like a quick way to be seen as That Guy. Even if I just ask, that’s still a pretty forward move, letting someone know I think of them like that. So I really do not know what to do there, and it upsets me.
Does the thought “woah are they in to me?? nahh of course not no way” every go across your brain? If so here’s the secret: you’re not an egomaniac/narcissist, that idea was shoved into your consciousness for a reason.
You say you don’t want to be “that guy” but you already aren’t. Be nicer to yourself!
I find people are almost always a few notches more socially aware than they think they are. It’s easy to stick to the narrative of complete cluelessness when you start observing things that don’t line up with your self image. Now you still might not know what to do in that situation but that’s a whole different thing 😂
I’ve also thought like what you’re saying, and think “OK, I’m not That Guy, but that’s only because I don’t express my interest in anyone. If I did, then I would”, putting me right back in this mindset.