Right, they’re good to feel and I do with my family but outside with white people I sometimes feel like I gotta keep a happy dopey mask on. I also tend to come off as very apologetic and it’s hard to turn off
Sounds like we might have the opposite approach to the same problem and are both suffering because the problem itself isn’t one that can be fixed without fixing white people. It feels like a damned no matter what you do thing. I don’t have the capacity to mask anymore but then I keep getting in trouble with white people for being open and honest about being a human being and having feelings that aren’t just “I’m a bhoddisattva”. It’s frustrating, but the price of playing nice is frustrating too.
it’s very much a white people in general thing but I’m not holding my breath on them changing anytime soon just getting worse. I’ve grown sicken with how many of them might have only been kind to me because of a white savior complex I’m dead certain that’s the case to every white church I’ve frequented growing up with friends.
Right, they’re good to feel and I do with my family but outside with white people I sometimes feel like I gotta keep a happy dopey mask on. I also tend to come off as very apologetic and it’s hard to turn off
Sounds like we might have the opposite approach to the same problem and are both suffering because the problem itself isn’t one that can be fixed without fixing white people. It feels like a damned no matter what you do thing. I don’t have the capacity to mask anymore but then I keep getting in trouble with white people for being open and honest about being a human being and having feelings that aren’t just “I’m a bhoddisattva”. It’s frustrating, but the price of playing nice is frustrating too.