Imagine if foreskin worked that way and you had to periodically peel it off

HEY HEY YOU YOU I DON’T LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND

CAN YOU TAKE ME HIGHER

I didn’t fuck my Vaporeon. I didn’t cum on my Vaporeon. I didn’t put my dick anywhere near my Vaporeon. I’ve never done anything weird with my Eveelutions. I promised myself I wasn’t going to make apology videos after last years thing so I’m just trying to be as short and honest with this as possible.

Higher quality non-failed censorship version

Pan’s Labyrinth? The fuck is wrong with you?

A man gets his face caved in with a fucking whiskey bottle and they full blown show it being bashed in his face for like 20 seconds straight.

starts saving local news recordings of the accident so I can use it in bed later to get her to bite my dick again

unzips dick

My mom is perfectly legal

Is it bad that I legit think that Origins is the best in the Arkham series?

Like objectively Knight is a better looking game, and Asylum is a wonderfully crafted experience. But Origins is basically a better Arkham City and has a lot to offer.

The detective segments in particular are really well done and do a good job of leaning into the investigative aspects of Batman early in his career.

What would you name a dung beetle if it came into your house and started drinking all the Shasta in your fridge?

I am Spartacus

The twice grilled burrito at El Pollo Loco was legit one of the best chain food burritos I’ve ever had. And ever since they got rid of it, I’ve wanted to start a Romanian curse cult to bring misfortune upon the executive who decided to get rid of it.

No

Is Gonzo still considered a sex icon? I know Miss Piggy is.

SHIT

THE WORD IS SHIT

IT’S NOT EVEN CENSORED WELL

FUCK

I want to bleed out not on the bench, but just below it, my back propped up by the wood.

Update: I had 4 croissants. 2 of them were stale and it made me feel like the French were judging me.

I’m proud of you, I know that took restraint

👍