“what the heck mr presinald I thought you were only going to take healthcare away from the [SLURS], and the [EVEN MORE SLURS]! this is not what I signed up for!!!”

Stavros Halkias (didn’t take the money)

the US military has deployed new state of the art combat vehicles for troops on the front line

hairstyle

no hair

post-truth world

first

a zoomer on the train just called my cassette player a vibe. I was caught completely off guard.

but instead of a nuke it’s “let me live in the guest bedroom”

I like Patrick Lancaster and I think the work he does is important, but every time I see him I can’t help but think “oh fuck how did Tim Heidecker get dropped into this warzone”

🎶ba-dee-ya, say do you remember

eighty one, degrees in September

ba-dee-ya, never will be cold again🎶

someone’s gonna pay one million dollars for this, get their little gold card in the mail, and get picked up by ICE a week later, I guarantee it.

no refunds!

“we need to reach across the aisle and come to an understanding,” I say as I’m forced to my knees in front of the ditch that will soon become my eternal resting place,

I typed a search into google for something and was provided with 3 “AI overviews” all saying the same thing before I was able to scroll down to see the actual results, which were just links to reddit saying word for word what the AI just spat out. the internet is beyond cooked, it is now burnt to a crisp.

lmao

a Zionist telling you to go to Gaza is a poorly-veiled death threat

same, brother, same

me, having a stroke on Jeopardy: what is unusual bheviors doring sleep

got three days of paid bereavement leave at work by telling my chud boss I was sad about Charlie

I’ve become fond of the term “sephirothposting”, myself

guy who spilled his raspberry slushie all over his nice white “freedom” shirt and has a bad kink in his neck from sleeping wrong