Obviously I’m not you, so will never fully understand your situation, but from my own experience, I can see why your in a very tough spot.

Even with all the work that me and my wife have done, there are still days that we get to each other. That one of us is at their most hyper or the other at a real low/overwhelmed state, unwilling to do anything but curl up in bed. Each ignoring our own bodies, either because we are too focused on something or don’t want to/can’t move.

Medication is a temporary fix for some or perhaps one symptom of ADHD.

Other people really won’t understand unless they’ve lived in our heads for a short while.

I would be very annoyed as well that my problems were being dismissed and discounted.

Thanks, I do spend a lot of time overthinking.

Now and again I come up with something that works. I still from time to time just want to run away from everything.

I wouldn’t say I figured a lot out, but what has really helped is having a partner who understands my triggers, and what triggers her.

For example, perhaps one of us is in a heated conversation and our voice is starting to raise. The other will make a visual signal, or gently touch a shoulder or hand. To bring awareness that things are heading in the wrong direction.

Often we will simply avoid certain situations altogether. Or find other mitigations. Like wearing Loops (ear things that block out some sounds). Take fidget toys, sweets etc.

Really, we just spend a lot of time talking to each other about what makes us each individually angry, uncomfortable, anxious. Then try to change our behaviour. At the very least attempt to make very small steps to soften this that grate each other.

We were both in several really bad relationships. The main takeaway was, don’t let things stew. It is really hard, but talk about things asap. Perhaps the hardest thing is finding someone who is willing to listen and share as well, and not react badly.

In many ways this sort of relationship stuff is far more logic than emotion.

Often just talking and the other person listening (and not giving any solutions, just sympathy) is enough.

With that all being said, take this with a huge bucket of salt. This is advice from a compete stranger. Search around for other opinions. Just don’t ask Chatgpt.

In typical ADHD style I wrote out a whole essay and decided instead, just to post this:

There is a point where you have to decide if it really matters.

Is the goal just to make them understand or do you need them to provide you with other support that only they can provide?

I also had a lot of trouble with both sets of parents.

I tried using examples of their own past behaviours and experiences. Things that had happened to their friends.

This worked somewhat. I don’t think I’ll ever make them fully understand.

Btw, I suspect my parents, my wife’s parents and extended family all have ADHD.

On another note:

There is a chance your wife has ADHD as well, just different behaviours. It might be that there are things you do, that really trigger her.

I thought I was the normal person with the adhd wife. There was a strong hidden reason we got together and stayed together. It didn’t become clear until later.

https://archive.ph/L2Gqp without paywall

It’s nice to see a remastered video and not a over-sharpened or AI upscaled reupload.

Haven’t found many older artists that actually released proper HD or 4K versions.

It was David Bowie’s - I’m afraid of Americans 4k vid, that sent me on a hunt for more like it.

So far, aside from Alanis M and David B, I’ve found decent remasters from:

50 Cent (in da club), Blur, Coldplay, George Michael (and Wham!), Green Day, Robbie Williams, The Verve.

I would say, nothing gets close to that Bowie vid.

This reminded me of a passage early on in The Hobbit:

'…Tell me what you want done, and I will try it, if I have to walk from here to the East of East and fight the wild Were-worms in the Last Desert. I had a great-great-great-grand-uncle once, Bullroarer Took, and—”

“Yes, yes, but that was long ago,” said Gloin. “I was talking about you. And I assure you there is a mark on this door—the usual one in the trade, or used to be. Burglar wants a good job, plenty of Excitement and reasonable Reward…’

I don’t doubt that.

I think familiarity is also important, maybe more so than ease of use.

A lot of people know Windows and how to use it (at least for the basics.)

Steam OS is still extremely niche.

That’s why I think the Steam Machine has to have price on its side to push people to consider buying a gaming-focused PC rather than a more general purpose gaming laptop. Particularly when everyone is struggling with rising costs.

True, I agree.

Edit (mid-November): There are rumours that it could be north of 600.

In my head, unless it’s in the 400-600 range, a gaming laptop makes more sense. I suspect generally other prospective buyers would too.

Steam OS whilst great, still doesn’t run as many games as Windows. Particularly certain popular multiplayer ones with kernel-level anti-cheat.

At the moment all we have is Valve’s theory that if the Steam Machine becomes really popular, Devs might update their games to work on Steam OS/linux. But equally they might not.

In a world where everything is getting more expensive (apart from TVs), I’m not sure the average person has the spare income to buy another single-purpose machine (yes, Steam OS can do more, but it’s designed to be used for gaming). A Windows laptop is more flexible.

I can see this hardware appealing to a lot of people, regardless of price though. Kid’s first PC for example.

I really want this machine to be a success. I would love to ditch Windows completely, as soon as possible.

If it’s more expensive than a entry-level gaming laptop, then I doubt the average user would buy a Steam Machine, when a laptop is far more flexible.

It has to be cheaper and more convenient than what’s currently available.

I might be way off the mark, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see it priced like the OLED Steam Deck. At least at launch.

With a later price increase due to RAM and SSD shortages.

Edit (mid-November): watching more videos, could be north of 600.

True. All I can think of is that before it gets to Halloween shops have sold off most of their stock and are in the process of getting all the Xmas stuff out. I’ve been places where they have a Halloween and Xmas mix of songs.

I’m not ruling out that a few hundred thousand completely random people around the world all decide to listen to Xmas music around the same time. I just think it’s more likely businesses switching to seasonal music as early as possible, and streaming Mariah Carey 20 times a day, causing the big sudden spike.

Is it just a load of stores/shops immediately switching to generic xmas playlists after Halloween? To me that’s the only reason I could see there to being a sudden spike. This song is bound to be in most of them. But we’d also need to track other popular xmas tracks.

(I know there used to be significant music licensing issues about what music could be played in a store, to the public. Don’t know if there is some special Spotify business account now?)

As a person who’s not into the table top games, but loves the lore.

I watch/listen to a few channels:

WesHammer - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSDj6ttwzj2sr464jDdg_pA

He does a short introduction (on camera), then the rest is audio with relevant artwork and some video from the games.

Aside from the usual deep-dives into the various factions and popular characters, I enjoy his Grim Dark Story Hour vids. These focus on creepy (horror) short stories from random Warhammer books, where Wes does some voice acting as well.

The Sleepy Hollow - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC86zNGwCUt5gBnizRSWSLuA

Warhammer lore (and game lore). It’s meant to be for helping people get to sleep. But I listen to it during the day. If you do use it for sleep, watch out for the super loud Youtube ads that play in the middle, if you don’t have Premium or use Peertube.

There are a lot of other Youtubers that do good content as well, like Arbitor Ian etc.

The top two are my recommendations.

I thought my external drive had failed after about 1.5k hours of use. It would stop working sporadically, until it basically wasn’tbeing detected. Tried different cables and various other things. Turned out it was the daughter board that was failing. Swapped that with an old donor external DVD drive, and it’s happily working again.

I know this is just my tiny view on things, but I’ve been testing code from a very experienced Dev, who was recently instructed to use AI coding tools in their work (Cursor, maybe some Copilot).

Functionality in our product is now breaking in weird and wonderful ways. Completely new ‘WTF!’ moments. It’s hard to describe.

Core behavior that I’ve taken for granted - things I didn’t realise could go wrong, are.

It reminds me of when after particular iOS update many years back, (for certain scenarios) Apple’s own calculator wasn’t doing addition correctly.

For me, it’s both fascinating and unnerving. Like some unfathomable cosmic horror.

Obligatory link - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seal_finger

Don’t let a Seal bite you.

“Seal finger was first described scientifically in 1907. It can cause cellulitis, joint inflammation, and swelling of the bone marrow; untreated, the course of “seal finger” is slow and often results in a thickened, contracted joint. Historically, seal finger was treated by amputation of the affected digits once they became unusable…”

1 - 100% chance of a metallic taste, that lingers after use. 3 as well probably.

4 is the only practical option, just need to use it with your left hand.

In case a few haven’t seen it, the link to the great video -

“I’m scared of rollercoasters. Can I get over my fear?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BdZPFzH2JY

Almost makes me want to reinstall - Star Trek Voyager: Elite Force

I did return to my old flac and mp3 collection. Got Foobar working again, found a nice skin and I’m rediscovering music that I that skipped over. I buy second-hand CDs when I find them. I’ve managed to get a digital copy of all my favourite albums and tracks.

I will keep Spotify though. A long time ago, I got friends to share their Discovery and Release Radar playlists. With my own, I have a nice spread of recommendations.

I need regular new music. Call it a search for unexpected dopamine. Spotify still picks new tracks that I really like. I also like Spotify Connect and the easily shared collaborative playlists.

The UK has less alternatives for music discovery. I don’t like Radio, way too much talking and ads.

I’ve got rid of Netflix, Prime. I’m getting Disney+ for free at the moment. Back to physical for film and TV.

For now, Spotify recommendations is worth the cost of entry.