no one wants to hear your fucking for you page on the bus. this level of antisocial behavior is unforgivable
Lmao, I remember we had a struggle session about this back in the olden times, people were unironically doing the “fuck you I do what I want” thing arguing for this kinda shit lol
NO GODS
NO MASTERS
NO ESCAPE FROM YOU HAVING TO LISTEN TO MY PHONE BLASTING GARBAGE ON PUBLIC TRANSIT
My hot take is that this debate if it gets bad plays out basically exactly like the bad ones about cars / drivers where the problem is structural and as such nothing can be done about it before you hit FALGSOC
Kind of the same shit with public smoking as well.
i like that thing new zealand almost did where the smoking age raises by one year every year and you just slowly eradicate smoking
it was so close to happening and then the smoking lobby stepped in
Expedition 33 but for smoking
My unfortunate lathe moment back in 2021 or so when everyone decided unchecked COVID spread was fine, actually, was that I thought we’d start seeing all this stuff come back as acceptable too. I wonder how long it will be before doctors are smoking in the office again.
I was trapped on a train for an hour where some girl had obviously just left a concert and kept replaying a Snapchat or TikTok she took of one of the songs. Idk if she was answering to replies but it was like a 30 second clip that she replayed dozens of times at maximum volume at midnight.
I didn’t care about the first several times but after a while it was really bad. I probably wouldn’t have minded it at all if the volume was lower.
This. I’m autistic and get over stimulated by loud noise and crowded spaces. Can we not just try to be a little more considerate. This seems like a really small ask.
Based on the responses in this thread I’m led to believe that “being in public” means you can do whatever you want without consideration for anyone else around you. News to me!
I mean really it’s authoritarian to ask people to not shit in the park
Get yourself some earplugs itll change your life
the burden shouldn’t be on her, certainly not on a bus.
I can hear this shit through earplugs
I agree with this. I think what the defenders are missing is that this is happening in a confined space and people are essentially forced to listen to whatever’s blaring out of your phone. If this was happening like in a park or on the street and no one had to stand by you it wouldn’t be a problem (at least not for me).
If people really need to listen to their phones there should be designated quiet cars, talking cars and loud cars or something
Many trains around the world have designated quiet cars
and those are good, but you can’t really have that on a bus, tram, or single-carriage rural train
I think there should be a designated rowdy car, with a bar where you can scream and throw things and get into comical bar fights. But it should be sound proofed.
extend this to every public place tbh. feels like every other time im in a waiting room some asshole is very loudly playing a mobile game on their phone or a boomer is watching youtube videos with the sound on. i dont remember this being such a problem even just a few years ago.
I was just on a plane with no wifi, so the guy who was watching a loud game show had to have pre-recorded the thing just for situations like that. Just sitting there all comfy in the knowledge that our carry-ons had been screened for solutions to the problem with which he presented us.
starting to come back around to thinking it’s okay, what a power move
seriously though why even HAVE air marshals at that point
It used to be less of a problem because phones used to come with headphone jacks and free pack-in headphones, and replacements were very cheap. It’s been long enough now that everyone has replaced their old phone with a new one that doesn’t have any of that and now phone manufacturers want everyone to spend several hundred dollars on wireless headphones. The result is more speakerphone music in public.
wireless headphones do not cost several hundred dollars. i got a sick pair for like $60 and there are definitely multiple levels of less nice, less expensive ones
I literally just googled it and you can get wired earbuds at Target for $4.99. Audio quality is probably shit but still better than a phone speaker.
The majority of new phones unfortunately don’t have a headphone jack these days. I still come down on the side of “not on the bus please” but cheap wired phones aren’t an option for many (most?) people.
Good point but wireless earbuds aren’t THAT much more expensive.
The most popular and most heavily marketed ones do. Either way, sixty bucks is still a lot and those cheapo ones are still way more expensive than a free pack-in.
And they’re easily lost or damaged as well. If a headphone slips, the wire catches it. If a wireless bud slips, it’s falling on the ground, and hopefully not into a puddle or a grate.
My Oppo isn’t more than a couple years old, takes decent photos (the ones I post were all taken with it) and comes with a headphone jack! Not judgey towards people who don’t have one but a heads up that they do still exist if it’s important to you.
Not exactly a flagship phone though;)
I think the biggest issue is that wireless headphones run out of battery, and that’s when people start playing things through their speaker.
I saw a new variant of that a bit ago.
There was a guy who watched porn with headphones on in the train, but the headphones weren’t connected so the sound came out of the phone.
Those weren’t headphones they were earmuffs… he didn’t want to hear the cheezy porno dialogue.
Especially if they’re listening to porn. That’s the worse.
Dude, AT LEAST share the screen if you’re playing it loud
we’ve had this struggle session before.
if you are blasting loud music in an area where people can not escape/have to use to for transportation: you are the bad guy. that’s the end of it. we didn’t all come here for a party. Nobody likes your music. we are trying to get home. please shut the fuck up.
I can’t think of them as anything other than psychopaths or narcissists.
They never spare a thought for anyone other than themselves and are totally self-absorbed in what they want, they disturb people around them and feel nothing about it. We’re all NPCs populating their word, at most we only exist if we’re useful to them.
Removed by mod
I have panic attacks when I’m overstimulated by too much noise, music and videos are especially bad when they’re cranked up loud because they demand my attention and are literally designed to keep people’s attention.
But I don’t matter. I’m an NPC that populates the world for real people, who can do whatever they want.
So it’s okay to label people you don’t know psychopath as a catch all term for people who annoy you with loud music? Got it
Is it okay for them to torment me and ruin our shared public space with toxic, antisocial behivor for their own personal amusement?
And is it okay for you to dismiss my very real inability to handle overstimulation because you don’t respect the fact that I am differently abled? I’m not just mildly uncomfortable! I literally can’t handle having my attention yanked in too many directions at the same time, it’s a form of torture for me. It triggers panic attacks, episodes of self harm, and thoughts of suicide.
And it’s so easy to solve! There’s basically no reason for it, except that they’ve never spared a thought for another person.
You: I get to use ableist language because someone hurt me.
So it seems ableism is not your issue. It’s only the ableism you experience.
Maybe you’re right, they’re probably not neuro divergent. Sure, they have never spared a single thought for another person in their entire life, routinely engage in antisocial behavior to the detriment of everyone around them, and live like they’re the only real person in a sea of NPCs.
But, that just makes them well adjusted neoliberal individuals! They’re certainly more well adapted to live in this society than I am, they’re perfectly well adjusted subjects that are just acting out their neoliberal programming.
they’re probably not neuro divergent.
Continuing to assume the mental state of the people you don’t know. Keep it going
BIG AGREE this stuff is probably the most irritating thing I have to deal with daily. College can be a nightmare sometimes.
harsh but fair
There are so many boomers that don’t know how to watch TikTok or Reels without blasting it straight from the phone.
Getting into Hexbear heaven:
No,it’s fine,I just didn’t think it’d be a struggle sesh is all
Sidenote:You can tell how Yankee this site is by seeing how many people can’t fathom the idea of common decency that doesn’t align 100% with their own preferences
Everybody can agree that auto-playing videos on like news sites or whatever are annoying. Well, the same goes in confined apaces
I like hearing peoples music. Enjoy from their phones, cars, and especially those who mount a stereo to their bikes or backpacks. Thats cool.
And I don’t mind other stuff, as long as it isn’t really shitty (regressive, hateful etc). Once a guy was watching some anti vax conspiracy so I felt invited to correct the youtube. IMHO by playing something like that in public you are soliciting some amount of conversation. Maybe he was hoping to make an IRL friend to go down the rabbit hole with. Which is a healthy impulse even though I disagree with the content specifically.
I think it’s perfectly social to share auditory space with those around you. There is no call for silence. Its not like anybody’s phone is extremely loud.
Personally I would be completely humiliated if anyone could overhear my podcasts and other stupid shit. You couldn’t catch me playing anything on speaker on the bus, I’d rather die.
I just think it’s inconsiderate to the other passengers. What if there’s someone who’s easily over stimulated, or had a really bad headache, or hungover and just trying to get to fucking work? I’m not saying everyone has to take a vow of fucking silence but maybe don’t blast your playlist at full fucking volume please? To me it’s the same as not littering or putting the toilet seat down.
It’s all a lot easier too if this is just a socially enforced standard rather than expecting individuals to measure exactly how they should tell an old person to turn their shit down while also being at the limits of their patience and probably not really in a position where it’s easy to express themselves in the manner that the other person feel entitled to.
I really do think Americans don’t have much concept of public shame. It’s the same reason you constantly see people screaming at service industry workers, leaving shopping carts in parking spaces, parking in handicap spot. I had a friend from Eastern Europe who was shocked to find that nobody offered to give their seats up to elderly people on the metro and said in their home country that’d get people threatening to kick you ass.
What does “socially enforced” mean, if asking is off the table?
Music doesn’t interfere with getting to work. You will get there all the same. If you are claiming it is some sort of disability to be intolerant of a quiet noise like a phone can make, then there are lots of other noises at the same level so you will have to be proactive in fixing things for yourself by wearing something to block them all out.
Out of curiosity have you ever asked anyone to turn their music down? If yes, what happened? If no, why not?
Second question, why do you think people are engaging in this behavior you find so distasteful? What is their motivarion?
I’m talking about people straight up BLASTING IT, which yes, they often do. Sometimes they’ll do it while sitting right next to you. I’ve literally seen people watch porn on the bus, and apparently I’m not the only one in this thread to have. And if you ask them to stop they will often get belligerent and tell you to fuck off.
You can be a socialist and still recognize sometimes people on public transit can be rude fucking assholes, or that people can be rude fucking assholes in general, especially in amerikkka which encourages people to be inconsiderate individualists and has little concept of public shame.
Its good your position has moderated from the OP.
Ive never seen anyone watching porn on the transit. Sounds to me like its either a form of sexual harassment by exposing unwilling participants to sexual activity or people are too poor to afford a private space to do private things. If the former, then its more like flashing and the fact of the phone being involved is incidental and not the same as music at all. If the latter, then idk it sounds like moral panics about people pooping in public or gay park sex that are really displacing discomfort about the oppression of other people onto the people at the bottom of some sort of hierarchy. People have been watching porn at libraries for a long time. And we used to have things like porno theaters or bookstores where semi public jack off space was provided, and only exposing those who are consenting, but those do not exist as much anymore. Rent is expensive and people are in tight spaces.
Someone enjoying music (even music you dont care for) is totally different than sexual harassment. Just because they share an item in common (phone) doesn’t mean its fair to make an equivalence. Its diminishing of sexual harassment to put it on the same level as music.
If people are just being inconsiderate then give them some kind of feedback about it. If it is really true that you have approached people and they’ve all flipped out on you, its provably something about your approach. I do share unsolicited opinions with people in public and more likely they just ignore me. If I introduce hostility then people react in kind. You can just mutter passive aggressively to yourself or another person you dont even need to be direct, and the person might get the message and be different next time.
Look I think something can be a structural problem, but that problem can also be exacerbated by the fact a lot of people are assholes (which is also sort of a structural problem since I think capitalist culture breeds a lot of assholes).
It’s like how “littering” is really the fault of so many companies mass producing disposable single use crap, but I still think the guy who leaves his fucking McDonald bag right on the park bench is being a fucking dick and his behavior should be discouraged. While we do live in a society, individuals can still behave in antisocial ways and can and should still be held accountable for that.
If you aren’t willing to directly speak to the person who is offending you then what does it mean to “be held accountable”? How do you go about it?
People who do this will get in your face over it
I’ve tried a couple times but like I said they usually Kirk the fuck out and nobody backs me up, not even the bus driver. I’m not going to personally throw hands with the guy who can’t resist the urge to watch porn on the bus all by myself.
I think we need to shift cultural norms here, and not just for this. If you see some boomer screaming at a 16 year old cashier then other customers should intervene, call out people leaving their carts in the handicap spot. Shame people who engage in pedestrian acts of antisocial behavior.
I like hearing peoples music
there isn’t a song on earth that sounds good coming through phone speakers. you literally can’t hear the bass half of the song, it’s gonna sound like shit no matter what it is
What is the minimum required equipment that someone must possess, in your opinion, to listen to music?
If you’re in a confined space with a bunch of other people? Headphones.
a device that allows them to listen to their music while simultaneously preventing other people from being able to hear it. i.e., headphones
About a month ago I hopped onto my normal train. Standing room only. After a couple stops half the train empties out so I see a seat. Plop down, start gaming. Guy in the next row starts scrolling social media with volume at full blast. “Hey man, could you put your volume down or pop in some headphones?” Guy looks like he just found out I murdered his children “Do you own the train? Who do you think you are sitting down and asking people to stop making noise? Where do you get off?” I reply “Holy fuck bud, it’s rude as shit to be blasting your phone at full volume. No I can’t stop you, but you’re an asshole.” He indignantly cranks volume to max. Next stop an old lady gets on and sits next to me. Looks at guy “Turn your phone down.” I fucking lost it laughing.
Next stop an old lady gets on and sits next to me. Looks at guy “Turn your phone down.”
old lady
