• ynthrepic@lemmy.world
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    9 days ago

    I need to know so I can deliberately use the other pronoun if needed, just to be a bigoted asshole.

    • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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      9 days ago

      I knew a lady, new mother, who insisted on putting her baby in green or yellow rather than pink or blue.

      Which, wouldn’t be something to make fun of except she got furious when people misgendered the baby boy. Even more furious when some jackass named me got fed up and started referring to the baby as “it”.

      She didn’t catch the point. The husband did, though.

      (Hindsight says I should have used “they” but they’ve subsequently turned weirdly conservative, so maybe that would have pissed her off just as much.)

      • ynthrepic@lemmy.world
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        9 days ago

        That clue at the end suggests what was really going on there. Some degree of crazy. Not really getting the point trans SJWs are making.

        Insisting on gender neutral pronouns for pre-language kids is dumb, and only the rarest of crazies would ever do it or insist others do it. It’s child abuse plain and simple. I have no doubt the original idea came from an anti-woke Internet troll which blew up in the media.

        We’re as woke as you can get. We dressed our boy with whatever hand-me-downs, sometimes “girls’ colors”. He had lots of hair for a baby. Most people assumed he was a girl. We only corrected friends who of course we would see again. Never a tense moment, lol.

        If he shows any signs of being a girl on the inside, we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. The answer is not to resist if they insist despite all reasonable attempts to keep the status quo. That’s when you start considering whether to seek a professional child psychologist and go from there.

        Sorry for the Ted talk, but we’re all out of kilter on this subject around the world now.

        • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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          9 days ago

          She wasn’t insisting on gender neutral pronouns.

          Sje was angry people didn’t know her son was a son. Which they didn’t know because they were never told before (directly or indirectly). She intentionally chose to obscure gender for some reason and then got pissed people got confused.

          I should have used “they” because babies aren’t “it”s, I could care less about disrespecting the mother, but the kid didn’t deserve that.

          • ynthrepic@lemmy.world
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            9 days ago

            No worries. Yeah, definitely crazy and abusive. Setting other people up to be rude, only so you can scold them is weird Machiavellian behavior.

        • presoak@lazysoci.al
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          8 days ago

          Modern gender stuff is a tasty subject to obsess over. But it’s a product sold to us by whoever sells such things. It’s purely synthetic. An astroturfing flower.

          • ynthrepic@lemmy.world
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            8 days ago

            It’s important to those people whose lives are affect who long for validation and legitimacy in the culture. They made great strides amidst women’s rights and gay rights getting across the line, but the world wasn’t quite as ready for trans rights to be brought to the forefront of public awareness.

      • ynthrepic@lemmy.world
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        8 days ago

        The wrong one, obviously. With the “right” one being the one a person insists upon. It’s okay to guess incorrectly the first time.

        • presoak@lazysoci.al
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          8 days ago

          If you disagree with the whole concept then agreeing is patronizing. And we wouldn’t want that.

          • ynthrepic@lemmy.world
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            7 days ago

            Nope that’s just lying, or maybe gaslighting depending on your agenda. I’m not asking you to do that.

            Patronizing is acting superior toward those who are not as good at something, whether it’s knowledge or ability.

            It’s okay you disagree with the whole concept of trans people. You’ll surely get there if only you listen to the relevant scientists and the trans people themselves.

            Or in a less patronizing way… Your disagreement is irrational, and very likely makes you a bigot. Assuming you care not to be a bigot toward a whole cohort of vulnerable people, I’d be more than happy to help.

            (I’ve definitely used a bit of manipulative language still, but I’ve done so honestly. I don’t think I’ve ever talked an anti-trans person on the internet into being an ally. But the leading reason anyone should at least care to let them be, is because they think they’re a good person .)

            • presoak@lazysoci.al
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              7 days ago

              You believe that you have truth in hand, and reject lying, but any who disagree must be accused of bigotry. Well that’s a tight knot for sure.

              • ynthrepic@lemmy.world
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                6 days ago

                You’re the one who asked if it’s bigoted to use the wrong pronoun. The answer was yes, assuming the “right” one is the one the trans person asks you to use - their “preferred pronoun”, and you refuse.

                You disagree with the “whole concept” which I must assume includes preferred pronouns, ergo I assume you refuse to use trans people’s preferred pronouns, ergo bigot.

                If any of my assumptions are wrong, do let me know.

      • hedge_lord@lemmy.world
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        8 days ago

        This is true, but I cannot talk to my cat about that and I want to not assume, so I just use they/them for them. Other people seem to dislike that though and want to decide it based on their genitals.