Mfs literally smashing their face with hammers wtf is this thats-why-im-confused Mfs say they’re using maths thats-why-im-confused Whats this crap being fed to the yute? Sexual market valuation? Wtf are you theJPMorgan and chase of dustiness? thats-why-im-confused

    • vegeta1 [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      1 month ago

      I’m usually one to say a degree of this always existed but good lord if there isn’t a concerted effort on this… I mean this bullshit literally stemmed from incel forums. How the fuck is it mainstream? And how much dumber will this timeline get thats-why-im-confused

      • Incel antifeminism was always front and center in the neofascist project, ever since Bannon astroturfed Gamergate. I do not have numbers for the US, but the funds for right wing antifeminist campaigning in the EU alone are roundabout half a billion every year, and it’s coming from everywhere, the big reactionary US think tanks are the main players but there are several scarily efficient European (mostly tradcath) crowdfunding campaigns for anti-abortion / anti-feminism / men’s rights and MGTOW / homophobic and anti-trans organizing like Citizen Go, Opus Dei, Radio Maria or TFP (Tradition, Family, Property, the German branch of a Brazilian org), plus a few Russian billionaires (not as front and center as libs would think, but guys like Konstantin Malofeyev do play a role in this alongside western actors). And this isn’t even counting influencers like Andrew Tate and the other manosphere grifters or the actual grassroots organizing in the incel spaces this started in.

        Fascism has always been about turning men’s sexuality pathologic. The current wave is no exception. They want bitter, resentful, frustrated guys who have no other outlet but violence. It’s their central movement building strategy.

        • Fascism has always been about turning men’s sexuality pathologic.

          There are two books by Klaus Theweleit called Male Fantasies. They explore the psychosexual nature of fascism, and how they conceptualize gender, femininity, and masculinity. I haven’t read them yet because they are just two of about 150 other things I want to read. But if anyone is interested in fascists and their psychology around women and sex, these are probably good.

      • Dort_Owl [they/them, any]@hexbear.net
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        1 month ago

        I mean, yeah. It’s always been there a bit, sure, but it felt like culture was making a little bit of progress on that front for a couple of years, but now it feels like the whole culture has gone back to 2010s level of childish cliquery and bullying. Just trying way too hard to be trendy and keep up with the Jones’s. It’s kind of sad and hyperconsumerist.

        There’s a weird undercurrent of vapidness and meanspiritedness I haven’t felt since the 2015 chud pepe days.

        • vegeta1 [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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          1 month ago

          Hell it seems even worse on that front. A lot of social media is just 4ch@n lite now. I mean before it was always shit but now its completely braindead. Every convo just turns into a struggle session. How the fuck is that even possible? i-cant who the hell has time for this?

          • BelieveRevolt [he/him]@hexbear.net
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            1 month ago

            The internet was ruined for good by everything being consolidated into a handful of social media oligarchies full of fascists, both the users and the people in charge. Plus there are so many bots now, even many human users just use LLMs to write their posts, and the posts written by humans just become training material for more LLM slop ouroboros

          • DragonBallZinn [he/him, they/them]@hexbear.net
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            1 month ago

            You know, it’s kind of funny. I want to think there’s a huge potential for a large mass movement of non-fascist folks to tell these fascists online to fuck off regularly.

            …Unfortunately for us, they’re too busy at work or paying bills or millions of other bigger problems to do this digital canvassing. For fascists, this really is it.

            • CountryBreakfast@lemmygrad.ml
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              1 month ago

              This will never be an excuse to me, regardless of its truth.

              What’s difficult is that “non-fascists” are too vulnerable. You have to be ideologically trained to have any relevance in this environment. Simply not appreciating, or even being scared, is not enough.

              Years back I would listen to David Harvey quite heavily. He would bemoan that we are all neoliberals. Well we are all fascists now. Poor or not, hungry or not, knowledgeable or not. People don’t have enough to lose because they can always gain something by playing along with empire. I’m still watching people join the military, ICE, and the police, all believing themselves to be special.

        • CountryBreakfast@lemmygrad.ml
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          1 month ago

          Here’s another excellent reason for disillusionment you have identified. People think if you just go outside you will be cured of anything at all, and they will recite this nonsense to you without fail. No one is allowed to experience social and political alienation because that is somehow a crime against collectivism.

          But it isn’t. These things are necessary to admit to move forward. The very infrastructure you would put others down for not valuing and not accessing does not exist.

          • CountryBreakfast@lemmygrad.ml
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            1 month ago

            There are a lot of people that seem to be in denial of the severity of our situation and offer no substance in the face of hopeless. Yet they think they can motivate people to disbelieve their own experiences in favor of comforting the malformed sensibilities of denial.

              • CountryBreakfast@lemmygrad.ml
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                1 month ago

                And to go further, I also am not always hiding away. I have to interview people and meet with people and correspond with people for my work and studies. It has only broken me down more, especially since everyone is just trying to carry on as if things will just calm down.

  • Lussy [he/him, des/pair]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    Mfs literally smashing their face with hammers wtf

    I’ve seen those videos.

    I’ve wanted to heavily get into boxing but I haven’t because I don’t want to get CTE, and here these guys are just doing it for free.

    • vegeta1 [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      1 month ago

      Lmmfao. In boxing I’ve had entire rounds I don’t remember when getting caught by a heavy hitter. These mfs doing this to themselves thats-why-im-confused

  • 7bicycles [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    I feel like as per what sucks about traditional gender roles societally we have taken the “time to make it suck for everyone” route like, a lot.

    • cerealkiller [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      Basically incel shit leaked to mainstream social media like Instagram and TikTok.

      People my age can become so insecure with their looks they fucking want to change their skull structure by basically tapping It with a hammer. I thought It was a joke at first but nah, It’s a legit thing. Or was I think. Also the rating (0-10 scale) system which makes people insecure too is a thing.

    • vegeta1 [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      1 month ago

      D̶̡̻͖͙̼͔͉̣̅̽͒͝e̶̝̠̅̓̅̄̀͒̉́͌͐͘̕͝͝a̵̫̟̪̬̗̬͚͔͖͊̉̑̈́͌ţ̶̟̪̙͙̺̮̫̻̜̳̫͊͆͗h̶̡̯̪̼̩͈̺̱̰̻͎̼̒̈́̎̅̀̈̎̆͒̔͗ ̵̛͉̯̟͇͖̱͍̟̞̬̋̉͂̇̔̄̊̅̄̚͠͝w̷̛̙͍͔̹̟̭̣̰͋̾̊͊̍̉į̵̲̙̅̀l̷̛͙͓̭̺̹͙̭̣̮̙̗͊͗ḽ̴̢͍̪͍̣̣̀̇̒̓̏̍͆ ̸̗̟͇͙͍̯̑̋̽̀̓̾͐̚͝p̷̢̨̨͖̠͙̗̗̙̙͕̥̒̎̑͌̽͑̃̍̐̑̐̊̔͝ą̷̡̧̛͕̞̘̲̙̤̰̝̻̫̘͍̓͐̀̀̕y̴͓̔̏̈̊̔́͐̑͠ ̴̮̥͓͚̯̻̫̎̄̏̆͐̍͌̒͘y̴̨̘͓̞̒́̋̓ȯ̶̧̢̖͓̳̠̗͚͚͉̟̗̪̘͇̏̈́̒̀͒̊̍̾̈́͠u̴̳͍͕̳̯̺̭̇̈́̆̀̂ ̷̡̡̨̣͚͓̖͖̘̹̗̥̄̈́͗̈͗̈́̂͘͜͠à̷̡͈̜̳̲̭̹̫̮̙̜̗͝ ̸̧̫̭̜͓̯̠͙̗͕̜̳͉̦̿̽͆͝v̸͉̱̯͉͚͇͐͗̽̌̂̆̏̉͌́̀̚i̴̟͉̭͈͙͐̈͘s̵̢̭̩͈̜͉̞̠͔̼̺̞͒̃͋͋͋̓͊̕į̶̛̺͉̭̳̗͔͓̭̺̈͆̐̎͛͆̒̀̍̆̕͜t̵̙̅̐͛̾̚͜͝ ̶̢̥̰̘̉́̓̚a̵̧̯̹͍̳̖̘͓̯̞͕͓̍͂̇̈́̿̇̅̆͊ ̷̻̬̱͎̜̥͇̘̱̠̝͂̈́͑͝d̴̝̩̠͕̈́͌̀̊̿͗͆̕͝ẹ̴̡̡͎͔̲͈̪̝̫́̀ͅͅà̷̡͍̦̩̮̟͛̉̏̄̆̌̀̑̈̒̎̚t̴̩̽̐h̸͉͈̥͍̗̞͔̱̞̽͌̀̌̅͆̓̂̈̏̂͒̔͜͝ ̵̡̜̯͚̮̥͖̪͉̓̾̊͆̂̇͒͘͝y̸̧͖͇͓̳̫̹̞̭͕̙̔ͅớ̷̧̼̱̌́̾̆͒ũ̸̢͔̺̠̥̣̈ͅ ̴͈̱͍̣̞̜̬͕̤̫͉̞͈̣͌̿̌͒̅̉̇͝ͅc̵̛̹̳͍̊̅̋͑̈͘͘͜͝a̵̫̻͓̬̤̜̮͉̰͚͒̋̓̾̅̓͗͜ͅň̷͕̻̊̃̂̓ ̸̢̧̱͍̭͇͈̞̭͉̏͒͝n̶̢͇̟͎̜̗̳͙̩̯̖̘̐̓͐̾͊̕͝ͅͅe̴̻̰͓̞̰̞͓͓̝̎̅͑̃̃͋ṿ̷̡̢͇̹̯̪͆̋͛̆ȩ̷̠̫̜͈̰̯͉͚͈̳̳͎̅̏̉̄́̎̀̇͘̕͘͜͠͝r̷̤͓̞̙͎͓̦̒̽̋̀̋̑̇̀̾͌͗̕ͅ ̴̡͉̥̣͖͙͕̥̑̉͂̈́͂̏͜͠ȩ̵͔̟̫͔̟̞̦̎͗́́̎̽̓̿̓̈̎̔͑̋s̴̮̯̪͎̣̍̽̈́́̊̑͌͛͗͘c̷̘̞͎̬͎͉̔͒͜ä̷̧̰̩̭̺̦̳̹͓̪́̾̊̔̀͊p̵̢̡̝̻̹̱̰͖͉͚̻͇̭̤̆ȩ̷̠̙̪̗̜̹̹͑̈̄̓̽̅̕

      Thats the best I can do

  • LaughingLion [any, any]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    Going to serious post for a moment.

    Physical attractiveness is only one element of attractiveness. I’m not a good looking guy at all. Literally a hairy ogre of a man. Bald, fat, unibrow, the body hair of a 1800s Hungarian bodybuilder, severe underbite, and super squinty eyes. In over 25 years of adult life I’ve never once gotten hit on or flirted with. I’ve never had someone compliment my looks which is wild because once I was propositioned for sex by a coworker on a business trip and that woman had never complimented my looks at all not even during the proposition (I turned her down). My wife doesn’t even compliment my looks.

    That said, outside of being an insufferable asshole online, in real life I make people laugh, my friends and family come to me for advice regularly, I’m told I am a good cuddler, a friend recently told me “you are the safest man I’ve ever known” which I feel is a pretty solid compliment. These things increase a person’s attractiveness a lot more than slightly changing your physical features. Will the toxic masculine side of society try improving themselves in any of these ways ? No. Never. Even though learning how to be a more pleasant, fully realized person is a way more effective way to finding lasting relationships (my wife and I have been together for around 20 years total).

    • insurgentrat [she/her, it/its]@hexbear.net
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      1 month ago

      The only man I ever fell in love with was short, hairy, a bit fat, and relatively unkempt.

      Importantly he was clean, patient, gentle, serious when it mattered and playful when it was appropriate, never made any misogynistic remarks, never put me down, took consent and boundaries seriously, willing to learn, and open to talking things through. Only once did he ever raise his voice at me and he quit drinking (with some ups and downs over the years) the next day.

      He has literally always got women orbiting him because he is genuinely interested in women as people. That and like washing your arse is the bar.

      Whenever men say they need to meet xyz standard to even get attention from women I always wonder: are they talking about the extremely fashionable women who are evidently interesting in current trends and conforming to them?

      It seems to me it’s harder to always look beautiful enough that people ignore your abrasive personality than just relax a little and show some genuine interest in treating women like people.

      • LaughingLion [any, any]@hexbear.net
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        29 days ago

        I agree. I also bet he was like me, not blaming women for the fact that he wasn’t the most attractive man around. It’s not their fault or obligation to be attracted to his or my looks (or lack thereof). He was attractive through a dozen other ways that the toxic manosphere simply cannot fathom to improve within themselves.

        I do think the last thing isn’t true. Some people are just naturally physically attractive with very little effort. Just like some men are naturally kind, funny, and fun to be around. What is easy for one isn’t for another.

        I don’t think I’d have a lot of trouble dating if I were single again. I mean, I wouldn’t even fuck with dating apps where your photo and bio need to do 95% of the heavy lifting. I’m cooked there. Why would I, though? I have friends that would be more than happy to set me up with single women they know. If I changed my status to single right now within a week I think I know at least one woman who’d be chatting me up.

        All that said, living with a lack of acknowledgment of your looks does hit you sometimes.

        • insurgentrat [she/her, it/its]@hexbear.net
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          26 days ago

          I do think the last thing isn’t true. Some people are just naturally physically attractive with very little effort. Just like some men are naturally kind, funny, and fun to be around. What is easy for one isn’t for another.

          There’s defs a spectrum but maintaining beauty isn’t just how your body looks. It’s care washing and shaving, keeping abreast of fashion trends, skincare (sun, lips, pimples etc), knowing how to dress to set off your features, exercising, diet management etc.

          There are very few people in the world that can just roll out of bed and look handsome in a street appropriate sense. True some people have it easier than others and some have more interest than others but it’s always work. It’s just you only see the finished product.

          All that said, living with a lack of acknowledgment of your looks does hit you sometimes.

          For sure, I’m plain boarding on ugly. I’ve never been tremendously interested in performing beauty and at my age as a women no matter how much effort I put in I’ll never be visible again. It is what it is, we all just play our hands.

          I’m sure everyone carries their own secret desires and anguishes, they’re not evenly doled out but all you can do is try make the world kinder for those that come after, raging about it will just get you tired and bitter.

          • LaughingLion [any, any]@hexbear.net
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            22 days ago

            what i hate about these conversations is when i say im unattractive then people try to explain attractiveness to me like im not a human being and ends up being a not so subtle dig about how i must not have tried hard enough. like in 40 years of being alive ive never accidentally put on the right shirt or washed my face. its really so fucking insulting even if it is not meant to be

            look, ive tried. its okay. im not destined to be physically attractive or ever get unsolicited compliments. it is what it is. its not anyone’s fault. being ugly really is a lived experience that people who havent lived it just really dont understand and the more i try to explain it to folks on the occasion it gets brought up the more i realize there is just this uncrossable barrier of understanding they simply will never get

            • insurgentrat [she/her, it/its]@hexbear.net
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              22 days ago

              That wasn’t my intention at all I’m sorry. I only meant to say that being beautiful all the time is a lot of effort, even for the people that find it realistic.

              No about of skincare is going to make someone with burn scars look like a model or whatever.

  • built_on_hope [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    1 month ago

    I’m watching Adolescence right now and I don’t know how accurate it is (in terms of depiction of how young people feel about this stuff) but it is horrifying

  • CountryBreakfast@lemmygrad.ml
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    1 month ago

    “I’m so chopped bro frfr 😭😭😭😭” “Women ONLY care about looks/height” Fatphobia, eating disorders, veganism, trad wives, Goslings etc etc etc

    Self hatred is among the few unironic, impassioned positions youths allow themselves to make. This means self hatred is an effective way to get attention online. It is wholly undignified but nothing will be done to stop it whatsoever.

    • vegeta1 [he/him]@hexbear.netOP
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      1 month ago

      I saw it was up to 11% usage with teens or at one point. Idk how much it is but this is no surprise. You see those kids on hudl and some of em look like they could jump straight to the nfl