I said I know my ABCs, I didn’t say I know how to structure children’s songs. Next you’re going to expect me to be able to work AND be sober at the same time, SHEESH!

I swear to Oracle that if you make my mouth disappear I will put you on a bus with a speed sensitive explosive

Are you trying to deport me???

Everyone knows the song goes “ex, why, zed. Now I know my ABCs, next time won’t you sing with med”

Always have something in your hand, a slightly irritated but thoughtful expression on your face, and call in a bomb threat if you get stuck napping under your desk while your boss is in your office waiting for you

It’s “Zed” not “Zee”

I wish I complained about how narrow my shoes always were but now my pinky toes are mangled

It’s pretty easy if you eat all the mushrooms, flowers, and leaves you come across because you’ll either be high, full of energy, or dead and don’t need to deal with this pointless journey we call existence.

Waking up to serve others while we become empty husks, retire, and turn into worm food so that we may complete the cycle of life, fueling the growth of plants and mycelia for the next victim.

Anyways, our princess is in another castle

As someone who seems to have a 36 hour circadian rhythm, my life would be dramatically better if I could pause time to sleep when needed, actually been a dream of mine for about 25 years

If you’re asking to be spitroasted you can probably find some people on craigslist

They didn’t make digital backups?

Buddy I think you need a smoke

Fuck a court. Even a public execution would be too light of a sentencing. 5 lifetimes of sucking SatansMaggotyCumFarts still wouldn’t be enough justice for these pieces of shit wrapped in skin.

Are we really still talking about this?? We have Texas we have this we have all those undercooked McDonald’s chicken snack wraps! I can’t believe you’re asking that at a time like this…

I’m fairly certain that would be impossible to have all users logged off at the same time

Off to r/MagicEye now

I first looked at a pic on my phone and it worked so i thought it would look even better if I put it on my tv. Did that and I wasn’t able to get it to work, googled something like “can’t see magic eye on large tv screen but can on phone” and apparently it’s a lot more difficult on large screens. Or maybe you just are old lol

Someone said that they did some research on people who were able to use 3d TVs and 10% couldn’t, or maybe you just haven’t gotten a hang of it yet?

Off to find my house!

Haha that’s the pic that I looked at and realized I could do it