It seems like the only logical option. If someone paid me to come up with a solution to having poopy butt I couldn’t come up with a better one than a hose or a bidet. You know what I wouldn’t do? I WOULDN’T INVENT PAPER YOU COULD RUB ON YOUR BUTT.
Like every person that has tried a bidet on the internet describes their experience as being reborn. Anyone that tries it instantly becomes a shill for big bidet. I have not seen a single negative review for a bidet aside from maybe water shooting up your back which is more of a skill issue with aiming.
There is some debate to be had between using a bidet versus using a hose. With bidet there’s no hand contact but you can’t control where the water goes. Im personally more in favor of hose since you still gotta flush and handle the bathroom door so there’s gonna be contact either way, but using water is CLEARLY superior to toilet paper.
Water is cheaper and guess what? IT USES LESS CLEAN WATER THAN MAKING TOILET PAPER. That’s right making a single tissue of TP uses more water than just simply washing your butt. You can also shower less frequently because you don’t constantly smell like shit. We are deforesting jungles just to turn them into butt napkins that do not even clean us properly, they just smear the shit all over the crack and make us smell like poop.
Also without TP there’s no longer an issue with assholes flushing their used TP down the toilet and clogging the pipes, houses will no longer get TP’ed, the pandemic scalping situation wouldn’t have happened etc etc. So why are people still hellbent on using this inferior method?
lmao we have an insult for europeans which translates to “butt unwasher” (or کون نشور). y’all have the permission to use it.
Is that Persian or Arabic? And can you transliterate please LMFAO. I love this.
it’s Persian. technically it transliterates to butt unwasher the translation would be “someone that doesn’t wash their butt”.
EDIT: sry i misunderstood it’s koon nashoor or kun nashur.
Unlike translate, transliterate means to convert from one writing system to another. The user is asking you how you write that in latin letters, probably so they can have some idea at all about how to pronounce it.
oh right i thought it meant translating word by word as opposed to translating to the target language. it’s koon nashoor or kun nashur.
That would be to calque!
A calque is when a term is translated word by word into a new language. And a loan word is when a word or words are directly taken as-is. In fact, this means that loanword (from German lehnwort) is a calque, while calque (from French) is a loanword :D
cool i’ll remember it for the next time.
This is going on some protest signs for sure, thank you comrade
if it gets a quarter popular as cracker then that would be excellent.

Enjoy your arse hose, francophile.
I personally just shit into my hand and cram it into my eurethra
eurethraThe poopy poo has got to go somewhere
Not my comrade.
After I learned to wash my ass I realised it didn’t itch almost ever and then had the horrifying realization
Yep no poopy butt = no itching.
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It never left.
Generally hygiene is taught by your mom/dad or primary caretaker and somewhat by your primary school. So if no one ever mentions that to you, you’re probably not going to think about it, and even hearing about it is going to seem somewhat alien.
Generally hygiene is taught by your mom/dad or primary caretaker
It reminds me of the poop knife. Now I wonder what poop knife habits I have that no one else does.
exactly… i’ve wondered the same… but afaik I don’t have any
Clean my ass with water?!? Absolutely not. Fish fuck in water.I just gotta say I’m really confused by the “you don’t need TP” angle of bidet shilling, like I am a bidet user and a bidet shill but I still have to use several pieces of multi-ply TP to dry off down there, and sometimes need to wipe extra to get what the bidet missed despite my 30 seconds of ass-wriggling.
I’ve been in the bidet gang for 13 years, but I do not understand the no-tp bidet people.
Not only for drying after, but I usually use tp before the bidet as well. If I don’t, I’m blasting poo everywhere in my crotch area.
hey, same! I like to do a quick preliminary wipe, water gun fun times, then dry off + wipe up anything the bidet missed. I definitely use less TP this way, but usage doesn’t just drop to zero.
sometimes need to wipe extra to get what the bidet missed
That’s why I prefer bidet shower that way it doesn’t miss. If you are using the bidet to only wash your asshole then there’s no need for drying but I understand that people may want to dry. This is more of an anti-wiping post rather than anti-TP post I think I lost the plot after the second sentence but we can live in a world where the majority wash their ass and there’s still TP left for people that really want it.
comrade, if you’re just washing your anus and nowhere else with the bidet, then proceeding to not wipe at all, congratulations, you’ve simply relocated some of the shit to other parts of your crack.
I’ll make sure that the area is clean then wait a little bit so that it drys out then leave. If I could somehow pin point target the water straight into my anus and nowhere else I might as well go get an enema.
but like… why not do a quick wipe to get the residual shit? bidet alone is almost as gross as wiping alone, imo.
There isn’t usually any residual shit left but you can still wipe if you want it’ll still use way less TP than wiping.
I think they mean shit-water gets everywhere
Different per bidet and person but in my experience it doesn’t.
Currently reading this with the bidet on and water blasting up my ass as I rock back and forth to get every nook and cranny of my butt
I do the jiggle too
I need an AI powered bidet that can recognize my butthole and where poop is, then utilizes machine learning to algorithmically anticipate where my ass will be most doodoo in the future.
Hell yeah clean ass gang


Rise up!
Gatorade is more refreshing and hydrating.
id go as far as saying buttholes crave it at this point. they cant just go back to water.
Gatorade tastes so shit it honestly belongs in waste water.
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Most of them are valid I don’t want to deny other people’s experience.
ego and homophobia/sexual propriety. those are the kneejwrk reactions I’ve heard from non adopters.
they “know” their asses are clean because they’ve smeared shit into their balloon knot for decades and it was “fine”. got some peanut butter in a keyhole…? just use some tissue paper. totally hygienic. to consider otherwise is to consider one has been living with low standards for personal cleanliness despite full access to all the necessary technology and infrastructure of empire.
when they finally consider that maybe dry paper doesn’t really clean feces off of skin effectively, they lash out about how the desire for a clean anus is some kind of sexual perversion they are “above”.
when they finally consider that maybe dry paper doesn’t really clean feces off of skin effectively, they lash out about how the desire for a clean anus is some kind of sexual perversion they are “above”.
This sounds like exaggeration, but I’ve actually had someone say he doesn’t use wet wipes because it’s gay. “Why does my asshole need to be clean? For my boyfriend??”
Absolutely deranged puritanical culture.
real shit, i was summarizing my lived experience as a multi-decade bidet enjoyer. having been to the middle east and the far east as a younger person, and having had family live in the middle east for many years it was something we all adopted straight away. because once it is realized how affordable and easy it is to live a life without a be’shitted asshole, it becomes the standard. like bathing regularly, brushing teeth, or washing dishes. you can’t just go back. not to mention, a typical entry level apparatus pays for itself in TP cost savings in a few months for a single person.
i gave up on evangelizing to the westoids very early on, because the majority dismiss it with some invective from one of (or both) of the two camps: “i can clean feces perfectly by blindly smearing it with paper” / “you are a sexual pervert”. these being responses to me having one in my bathroom and them seeing it. maybe 1 in 10 or 1 in 20 would see it, try it, and become converted. the rest were upset and confrontational.
I’ve had extreme culture shock when I went to Indonesia. Both the unsanitary conditions of their squat holes and the hoses or cups they use sitting in pools of stagnant water in a country notorius for malaria and mosquitoes used to both wash shit and shower with. The whole “wet room” concept when part of my job is to grow pathogens like Ecoli. Just saw everyone’s shit germs everywhere and had a few days of mild panic attacks. Not to mention trying to keep my clothes dry in thise things and seperate shoes and

Then how do people do that without getting their clothes all soaking wet?
Fast Forward after the shock
wears off, I’ll shower bidet and still theres shit that sticks and then is now in the shower in a drain that isn’t a power flush. Which grows germs and doesn’t go down properly.My hybrid solution is to wet some TP to clean the area and then follow up with some lotion or mineral oil wipes until it’s clean. Paper just doesn’t do a full job. Then get your shit germ sprayer thing (bidet arm) that gets shit on and aprayed with shit crossed my mind, but our water is COLD and how do you keep it clean?
Every description online is like very vauge and overly modest in using a bidet and I just need something explict step by step.
Unsanitary bathrooms are straight from hell. It’s genuinely disgusting. It’s usually the remote bathrooms in rural roads that are really gross and dirty. I’m sorry you had to experience that.
Then how do people do that without getting their clothes all soaking wet?
In squatting holes they usually have a low pressure shower bidet or a container just pouring water on it and then they scrub it with their hands. It gets your hand dirty but it gets the job done with minimum splashing.
Every description online is like very vauge and overly modest in using a bidet and I just need something explict step by step.
I’m not sure how much it helps but wikihow has a guide.
Thanks cabbage

I live in a vehicle


Sparkling ice
Brave
Yeah I’m gonna buy one of these (I want it for camping trips too) but I expect it’ll take a bit of getting used to and may not be as easy to use over a composting toilet where you want to avoid getting liquids in the solids chamber as much as possible.
“They don’t want to be great people” - Shah Jahan




















