Talk of sex, rape and violence

  • Lady Butterfly @lazysoci.alOPM
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    4 months ago

    Porn in theory I have zero issues with, sex work is work. My issue is the content and the fact it’s not well regulated.

    Content… there’s so much choking, violence, verbal abuse and sexual assault/incest. What really concerns me is I’ve never seen a film where they discuss boundaries and safewords at the start. It takes under a minute! “I’m so horny! Just fyi I don’t do ABC but love DEF. Safeword is pineapple. What about you?” Choking is a known danger flag in DA and its being normalised in porn with no safety net.

    Then there’s the type of sex. People are fetishised a lot (“exotic”, trans etc) which is dangerous. Anal is everywhere, and IME a lot of young people think they HAVE to do it. So much porn is the man jack hammering away and I’ve NEVER known a woman that’s liked that start to finish in sex. Shaved or at least styled vaginas are expected, and theres rarely condoms. What kind of ideas are young people getting about what’s normal in sex?

    The industry isn’t well regulated. You regularly see videos where people look at best uncomfortable, and they’re often really young. There’s a lot of abuse in the industry and it’s really not ok.

    I do wonder, if it wasn’t young women at risk, would there be more action?

    • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      4 months ago

      On the anal subject, discovering bottoming (I’m a trans woman) was one of the best things to happen to me and I’m really shattered that I can’t really do it anymore. I would hate for anyone to feel pressured into thinking they have to, definitely not for everyone, but I’m glad it’s getting more normalized and is becoming less… fetishy and a bit stigmatized? I don’t know, it can be hard to sort out how I feel about sexual things like this and how it differs from how other people may because of my gender identity. Having a prostate definitely makes it more pleasurable but it’s still only part of the equation. Maybe I found it so much more fulfilling (ha) because I’m wired for being penetrated instead of penetrating? (Which ofc not necessarily a gender thing but it is generally related) I guess my rambly point is, I’m kind of glad it’s being seen less as some extreme thing and more people might discover that they really enjoy it too.

      • Lady Butterfly @lazysoci.alOPM
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        4 months ago

        I totally see your point and I’m glad it’s helped. It’s maybe helped gay men as well, there’s less stigma against what they do

    • guy@piefed.social
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      4 months ago

      Good post! But damn, having the start of a porno beginning with a discussion about safewords and boundaries would probably be severely off putting

      • pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        4 months ago

        Really depends on the genre and the watcher. I think for more kink focused stuff, having that included could definitely make it hotter sometimes, for me anyway. I don’t know how good of a litmus I am for that, but there’s probably at least some level of commonality there

    • Malgas@beehaw.org
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      4 months ago

      I don’t do ABC but love DEF.

      I spent entirely too long trying to figure out what those acronyms stood for. 🤦‍♀️

  • Underfreyja@lemmy.ca
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    4 months ago

    The best thing you can do if you consume porn and can afford it is pay for things that are more in line with your morals and needs.

    Last year, I had pinklabel, this year I have ersties. If I happen to go on pornhub, I only watch stuff from amateur couples that I know or that fit with my needs.

    I’m gonna say it’s easier since I’m gay and only watch lesbian porn and I can’t watch straight men lesbian porn so it pushed me to find the actual good and ethical porn.

  • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 months ago

    I absolutely despise how common trans and lesbian porn is thats specifically designed for straight men (in many cases they will even subvert trans ppl to their disgusting fantasies by depecting them as “futa”). Even worse, there are truly disgusting people that will go out of their way to sexualize and objectify Asexual people.

    I am not a porn category, I am not a fetish, I am not a “futa”, and I am especially not someone who “just hasnt had good sex”, I am a trans women and I am Asexual

    • Lady Butterfly @lazysoci.alOPM
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      3 months ago

      Trans being fetishised is frightening. You’re a person, not a sex toy, and you deserve respect. Sexual assaults against trans can start with fetishising the community and it’s vile. I agree with you about male gaze lesbian porn… ridiculously long nails, rubbing the clip like you’re trying to start a fire etc… it’s not how we do it!

      • Phoenixz@lemmy.ca
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        3 months ago

        Trans being fetishised is frightening

        Why? Everything is fetishised, so why not trans persons? Actors have tonnes of fake porn shots out there, loads of people objectify the crap out of them, and it is all a fantasy.

        There are LOADS of people out there with rape fantasies, look up CNC. That doesn’t mean they want to be raped, it means they have fantasies.

        Similarly, lots people have fantasies about trans persons. A lot of them, unfortunately, are the people who want to ban anyone from being LGBT (I guess these people are ashamed of themselves) and I think the world would be a lot better if people would kust open up a bit about their fantasies.

        Human beings are weird and most of them are very sexual. I can understand that you don’t like that, but you can’t dictate what people like and not like

        • Lady Butterfly @lazysoci.alOPM
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          3 months ago

          To me a kink or interest is different to a fetish. Trans are a vulnerable group who are at increased risk of violence, suicide and other mistreatment. I work in the VAWAG and IME people with a trans fetish are often just dangerous. It’s not a scenario based fantasy, its objectification and ive often found they start with fetishising and move onto violence.

        • TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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          3 months ago

          Actors have tonnes of fake porn shots out there, loads of people objectify the crap out of them, and it is all a fantasy.

          does that make it acceptable for you? making a cum shot of an unknowing actor doesn’t make it ethical for me AT ALL

          That doesn’t mean they want to be raped, it means they have fantasies.

          didn’t like >25% of that content on some porn platform get deleted because it wasn’t consented

          I think there’s a difference between having a liking for something, and acting like every member of that group are oversexualized and are only for sex.

          treat people like people, not sex toys.

  • JokeDeity@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    I avoid this stuff like leprosy, I hate violent porn and anything with too much of the inside stuff on the outside (spit, piss, shit). One is usually just power fantasy and humiliation and that’s such pathetic shit for weak men. The other is not only repulsive but actively dangerous to people’s health.

    I wouldn’t be surprised to find it’s only on the rise and so popular with the type of people who think Trump is making America great again.