It’s weird how unreasonably mad I get at the LinkedIn writing style. The pauses, the paragraphs, the “The lesson?” “The meaning?” “The result?” questions, always ending with “Here’s the truth:”
It hits some part of my primitive brain and makes me wanna smash some rocks
It’s this faux profound tone. These idiots got B’s at ivy league schools and think it makes them enlightened polymaths gracing the rest of us with their incredibly deep and meaningful insights about their incredibly deep and meaningful lives. It’s performing a caricature of happiness and enlightenment because they’re mimicking the models given to them by vapid liberal “everyone’s a hero!” tropes in movies and the way they’re told they’re supposed to feel about status and consumption by advertising.
Basing important choices for my company based on vague vibes instead of qualifications is always a very smart idea and explains why all our services work so well under capitalism
The most honest job interview workshops will tell you just hope the recruiter likes you. All that other stuff like excessive smiling etc is secondary. Its all vibes
Seriously. I can’t imagine that the employer of this “recruiter” wants them pulling this kind of shit. Find me the good people who will make me money, you’re replaceable just like anybody else.
im not an employer but i do have a job at a place that is ostensibly trying to hire people. we have a hard enough time as it is we dont need some recruiter getting bad vibes making it even worse
why al your services work under capitalism.
Arguably, recruiters do the same thing customer service is literally trained to do: sludge.
Try to make you put up with enough bullshit, find any excuse to tell you “no”, and of course, always act stupid in hopes of pissing the client off enough they just go away on their own. Hence why they can go “sorry, we only hire the best of the best and you just don’t have what it takes.” to being all “sorry :) I don’t…understand :)? What’s an interview:)?”
Corporate culture is abuse.
I hear that the best way to attract a job is to stare into middle distance for like 20s or so, then sweep your gaze over the job, do a slow blink, then go back to staring at a different location
The job will no longer perceive you as a threat and then will approach and hire you naturally
Do NOT go up to a job, tower over it and go pspspspspsss they don’t like that
You have to neg the recruiter a few times first before showing them a magic trick but remain distant. When they call or text you don’t respond too quickly too. Don’t forget to peacock yourself either.
It helps being an aloof saiyan. My idea of peacockin is idk blowing up some moons or something
“nobody wants to work anymore”
ew you need a job? go die wtf
It figures the daughter of a billionaire would marry the prince of a dead planet. (I still love you Bulma you’re a power mommy).
Bulma shot kakarot as a kid after running him over. She’s as ruthless as I am. That’s why I married her I saw that in her
We all know the real reason is that Vegeta is an m and Bulma is a d.
You take that back
No way Vegeta LOVES that “woman who tells me what to do” vibe. The fact she puts him in his place is exactly why he’s into her.
I’m right here dammit. Why you talking about me in third person
Vegeta would enjoy it if I ignored him and talked about him in the third person.
Only vegeta speaks about Vegeta in third person
You will all pay for this 
you gonna cry prince boi?
Don’t make me call bulma on you all
Don’t even turn up for the interview, guaranteed job
Why the hell is desperation censored?
desp*ration detected, this incident has been logged and will be taken into consideration in all future job interviews indefinitely
We appreciate your due diligence
Okay but what’s with the Anne Hathaway face?
She was an actor in a movie called The Intern with that guy who the joker shot
about an older man who has to work as an intern, and I guess he gets sacked? I haven’t seen the movie. In any case her face is used as ‘inhuman corporate smile’, here the emoji tag is ‘layoff stare’ afaict 
It is pretty unsettling
Why the fuck is desperation censored. What the fuck is this hell world. Please be a bit
really hard not to paste the fake Anne Hathaway quote about how enjoyable anal sex is
In a decent country you’d
get their comms exposed by court order and this awful piece of piss marched out of th “job” after being found guilty of discriminationhave communism
