97% sure someone posted this at some point, but I think it’s been a while… ⊙⁠﹏⁠⊙

  • recklessengagement@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    This. I’d rather die alone than risk even the slightest possibility of making someone else uncomfortable.

    why yes I am in therapy how did you know

    • BigDiction@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Yeah the fear of imposing on someone. There are plenty of assholes, but lots of perfectly nice people just communicate what they want/need/feel and it’s okay. Not just talking about dating.

      Then whenever you take your risk and do it, and get rejected, you retreat back to try it again in 6 months.

      Edit: I have zero problem and welcome people being honest, and adjust accordingly. But when I try to do that it rarely works the same way. Could just be how I communicate, but it is a struggle.

    • LePoisson@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      I think the thing that makes people uncomfortable in this kind of scenario is if you don’t stop when they ask you to. Or you just refuse to take no for an answer. But our species would cease existing if nobody ever was made uncomfortable at some point by flirting because everyone’s lines and desires are on a spectrum. You can say the exact same thing the same way to two different folks and one will turn around and slap you for it and the other will get on their knees for you. Humans are weird.

  • SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 months ago

    I can make this easier, at least for anyone interacting with me:

    If you’re reading this, you - yes, you - have my full and explicit permission to compliment me, flirt with me, or ask me out. I am extremely good at saying no if needed and promise not to be offended if you make the first move.

    Also you’re cute 😘

  • peoplebeproblems@midwest.social
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    2 months ago

    99% sure that’s pretty normal for healthy minded people, men, women, trans, non-binary etc.

    Making the first move is taking a risk: aka being vulnerable. It’s when they don’t respond enthusiastically and you don’t stop that it’s a problem.

    • apotheotic (she/her)@beehaw.org
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      2 months ago

      It is normal to feel some degree of trepidation when taking a risk: aka being vulnerable, but I don’t think its a stretch of the imagination to assert that it might be more stressful if you don’t have a firm grasp of neurotypical social graces and nonverbal communication.

      As an autistic person, what has worked quite well for me, though takes getting used to, is very transparently communicating about intentions and consent. It can seem quite intense but it does mean everyone knows where they stand and where boundaries lie.

  • AItoothbrush@lemmy.zip
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    2 months ago

    Im not fem and i feel like this so many times. What i fear most, much more than rejection is overstepping social lines. Also if youre a woman pls make the first move, its extremely hot if the guy is a switch i can tell you that lol.

  • shani66@ani.social
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    2 months ago

    Once you get passed the mask my default mode of interaction is flirting! Still too shy to be actually vulnerable tho.