@Mattr I was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Awesome!
When I was a senior in high school, we were having a “fun” senior assembly where we were watching people play a family feud style of game. The category was popular dog names or something, and my friend next to me and someone else in the row before us both yell out “onomatopoeia!” at the exact same time.
Neo-nazis kicked down my front door when I was around 19-20.
The underage sister of a friend was being trafficked by them and managed to escape. They came looking. Lucky for us, they showed up expecting, at most, a couple emo kids, but we just happened have a few guys over that were training for mma that night, which means they got the ever-living-fuck beat out of them and never came looking again. One of the mma guys punched a tooth out of one of their heads, got it gold plated and keeps it on a necklace now lol
It does sound like something I wouldn’t believe. But it’s just too badass, I’ll believe you
I swear its all true, but just to make it a little harder to believe for ya; 3 of the 4 mma guys (mr.necklace was the only one to stay cool as all hell) went on to join a cult led by a 70+yo man claiming he was Jesus who lived in a school bus that he’d renovated into a trailer house. They ended up cooking meth for him some years later and that’s the last I’ve heard about the lot.
I’m not American, but is this Florida? Sounds like a Florida thing
East Texas, which, in many ways, is the Florida of Texas. Depends on the specific area for sure (it is a very large area after all), but interactions like this pretty often go on without any kind of police intervention. Lots of personality (in a more positive sense) near the cities, but a very strange area in many ways, full of real, real strange folks the further into the hill country you get. Their BBQ can’t be beat tho. Comes with the ‘…huh’ of it all, I like to think.
The first part of your story sounded a little far-fetched. But the second part adds context to which I say, “yup, sounds like a bunch of meth-head Nazis and MMA fighters.”
That actually makes it more believable somehow.
Is the sister ok???
She hasn’t gotten caught up with any nazis since then afaik, but “ok” isn’t how I’d put it, unfortunately. I’d rather not get more specific than that. Sorry.
understood.
How every Neo-Nazi should be handled.
That kid that kept the gold tooth on a necklace was me.
I’m pretty sure that person was Albert Einstein!
It was actually the late Errol Flynn, but, surprisingly enough, kooky old Al was also around and down to clown on that particular night.
I love this.
😮
Was driving down the road with my wife and came to a stop light. We both witnessed a lone potato rolling down the street through the intersection at a pretty good clip. We both looked at each other, making sure we were seeing what we were seeing and busted out laughing.
I have absolutely no clue where it came from, and to this day remains one of the most random things I’ve seen and NOONE ever believes me when I mention it.
You’re really tempting me to roll potatoes down roads…
…but also if I caused a wreck I’d feel really bad.
The fact that you stopped first makes it hilarious, i think. The thought of it made me laugh out loud.
Pulling up to a stoplight and then seeing a potato when and where you’d expect traffic is way funnier than just seeing a potato unexpectedly.
Where it came from? Isn’t a better question who is it going to see and how did it learn traffic patterns?
I was riding my moose one day, when we almost got ran over by some dude in a ship
A Møøse once bit my sister…
Mynd yøu, møøse bites kan be pretti nasti
I was a boat riding a moose, and I almost hit a guy once!
Story time?
My mother regularly beat me, yelled at me and told me she wished I’d been aborted. Noone believed me because to outsiders she was the perfect housewive, always smiling, always friendly and happy. My friends and teachers only told me how lucky I was to have such a nice and caring mother and that I shouldn’t tell lies about her.
Luckily, my husband believes me but he’s never met her since I went no contact years ago. But while I was still living with my parents noone ever believed me.
Lol my mom told me she regretted giving birth to me because I expressed suicidal thoughts.
I came from a “communist” country where there was a strict birth control policy because of thr fears of overpopulation, I was the second child my mother illegally gave birth to. So she said because she broke the law to have me and had to pay huge fines, that I owe her or something. And even my grandmother said I owe my mom for risking legal punishment to give birth to me. And that suicide is cowardly and disrespectful/ungrateful for her “sacrifices” and if she had known about my thoughts, she wouldn’t have “wasted so much resources” on me.
Bro, I really wanna be that type of dipshit kid and say: “well if you have me so much, then maybe the party should’ve forcibly sterilized you before you gave birth to me”, but I just ended up crying and have an existential crisis, my birth wasn’t even supposed to happen, the fucking government literally hated my existence anyways, rejected my existence, I’m just another anomaly, born only out of sheer luck, the card were never really stacked in my favor to begin with. I think all the bad luck I’m getting might be just nature trying to course correct, to get rid of me, the anamaly.
That was a terrible thing for your mother to say, never mind even think. You’re not an anomaly, and you don’t deserve to feel that way.
I hope things get better for you.
Oh she didn’t literally say that, its just my internal monologue. Sorry for being confusing, I’m kinda just rambling.
But like I literally am an anomoly, as in the legal sense. Having two sons is not really “normal” in China, at least prior 2015, so like, I’m pretty sure people would find it weird if they knew I was the second son. Give how much “patriotic education” kids get, if I had stayed there any longer, kids would be like: “Wait you have an older brother? So you are an illegal child? Unpatriotic!” (at least this is how I imagined it would go, luckily I didn’t have to find out, since we left the country when I was young)
And its more about the legal identity thing that makes me feel this way. They literally just straight up refuse to issue IDs or allow me to be registered in the Hukou, for a “crime” (a purely political crime btw) that my parents did, like wtf did I do? I didn’t even ask to be born, they’re just gonna try to punish me for… existing without their approval. So my mother is like: “If we hadn’t paid the fine, you would not have those legal documents, so we can’t prove to the US Immigration officials of your identity, so you’d be left behind” Okay she didn’t literally say it, but its implied when she said something along the lines of (paraphrased) “Remember how I paid a huge fine because I gave birth to you?”
The US is a raging shit heap at the moment, but it’s normal to have multiple sons here. Even if it wasn’t the norm though, or even against the law (which is so bizarre to me), you have every right to exist. You don’t owe anyone anything for being born, and you do not need anyone’s approval to exist.
I mean yes I know I shouldn’t be seeking external approval for my existence.
But like its just a weird psychological phenomenon amonst people who were, in some ways, “rejected”, like people whose bio-parents got drunk and had sex, and never intending to reproduce so their birth was merely an accident, or kids born as a result of sexual assult, or children of extramarital affairs, or their bio-parents birth control methods (e.g. condoms) failed etc… I mean like… you know what I mean?
When you are one of these “rejected” people and you learn of your true origins, it feels depressing, and it causes existential crisis.
I don’t know if its possible to just bury this info from my brain, like… its always just gonna be sitting there in the back of your mind, making you question your entire existence.
I know it seems very small problem, but inside my mind, it’s an entire psychological battlefield. I’m pretty sure its a similar psychological phenomeon for people who were born to birth control failure, or people born as result of [SA].
I think I know what you mean. A lot of us were “accidents” lol, probably more than you realize. You aren’t alone. How you came into the world doesn’t matter, it doesn’t define you. All that matters is that you’re here now, and your life is your own to make something of. You matter.
Also, there’s nothing wrong with questioning these things that bother you, and trying to work through them. It’s good to process them and come to terms with them if you can. It’s okay to ask for help if you need it, too. But please be kind to yourself, as well.
The universe is an anomaly. It’s a miracle life is even possible at all.
Yay, we are all a bunch of SCPs 👀
Edit: Okay, oddly enough that feels better when I think of it this way. We are all anomolies! 😁
People can be idiots and not realize that social behavior can be a mask. Always smiling, well, thats hiding and acting.
I’m in pretty much the same boat. I went here to type pretty much all these words.
Do you think your leaving has made some people wonder that there might be something to it?
I don’t know. She’s been painting me as the bad, unruly child that has something wrong with her since kindergarden, so I guess it would be easy for her to make it sound like I just lost my mind and shes the victim. Those who believed her will keep believing her.
Yeah, that’s bad. Good that you were able to make it out of that situation at least.
Oh boy! I got one of those too. My condolences to you. I know how exasperating it is to have to endure all those “I wish I had your mom. You are sooo Lucky she’s your mom” comments while dying inside. And yeah, smear campains are their thing when they are no longer in control of you, so they control the narrative. I lost all my maternal side of the family brcause of this, it hurt like a mofo but it worked out for the better for me and my husband and kid♥️ Right now on the road to no contact after years and years of grayrocking. Safe first✨️
Back when I was 17, I had a neighbor pull a gun right to my forehead. I shoved him away and said, in essence, “yeah, fuck you with your BB gun, I have some shopping to do”. He shot another neighbor in the gut not long after. I avoided death by dumbfounding him in a way that sound like it comes right out a daydreaming teenage fantasy.
Glad you’re OK. But also wtf is wrong with this neighbor and I hope they’re doing time?
He had been arrested by the time I came back with my grocery bags. He was the “get out of my lawn” kind of guy, who could pick a fight for the most benign reason. Last I heard of him was when his nephew emptied his house some years later. He’d been placed in a psychiatric ward.
😱
I almost ran over a moose with a ship
@[email protected] you two might want to have a chat
Serves them right for riding that moose into the ocean strait in front of a 120m long wellboat
Maritime rules apply! I had right of way goddammit!!
I know someone who did. The police did NOT believe them. But eventually they where convinced to show up at the road close to the lake, as they didn’t actually have a code for “hitting wild life with boat”.
I once waited in line at a costume shop while two guys argued about whether getting hit by a ship voided the “no fault” deposit warranty on a moose costume.
Somehow that story of yours rings a distant bell…
I woke up one morning and found a skinned moose in my yard.
Much better than waking up naked next to it. Not that I’d know what that’s like. Nope.
RFK Jr. dumped it there
And thus the cycle has been completed
OMG!
I was the victim of a drive-by ketchupping.
Were you able to mustard the courage to go after them?
Mayonnaise was gone before I even had time to react!
I had someone do a driveby breadding.
Walking down the street and some wanker throws a loaf of bread at me from his car as he drive past. The whole loaf, plastic bag an all.
Nah, you just won the mobile food pantry lottery. Congrats! The jackpot is crab legs.
Went to an orgy and didn’t have sex with anyone, on purpose. I did, however, play naked baby oil handcuff twister. Which was hilarious and painful.
deleted by creator
The internet never fails to make me feel vanilla AF.
Statistically… there’s always going to be someone invited to orgies
Mathematically… there has to be more than 2 or 3 people invited to orgies
I always like to play “Whorer Hoedown” on Halloween.
it’s a game where I watch the adults walking down my street on Halloween and see if I can guess which ones are going to the swinger orgies before they get there.
I’m pretty good tbh.
Naked baby oil handcuff twister actually sounds really super fun
I don’t see how that’s hard to believe.
I saw a guy dressed as a moose carrying another guy who looked stoned get almost run over by a ship.
Dropping acid at the furry convention…
I’ve had 7 car-deer collisions.
Deer hate you and are trying to kill you.
Deer are just rats with plenty of room to grow.
Santa?
I was only in one, but the deer hit us.
Dad was driving, I was in the passenger seat. Suddenly there was a deer head in front of me coming from the right and there was a thump and we stopped. Deer had run off, but there was a big dent behind the front wheel well in front of the door where the deer t-boned the car.
I’ve avoided a ton of deer in the road in front of me encounters by stopping or slowing enough for them to bolt. Were your’s just bad visibility conditions or in a large vehicle like a semi or tow truck where not stopping or swerving is safer?
I believe you.
I was driving along these narrow backcountry roads once, the ones with little drainage ditches on either side of the road. It’s dark out A deer comes bounding across the road in front of me. Knowing that deer travel in packs, I stopped.
Some asshole fucker in a lifted truck or SUV, speeding toward me way over the speed limit on these tiny backcountry roads, did not stop. Another deer ran across the road and the truck/SUV hit the deer and catapulted it right into my car, then kept speeding off into the night. My car was mostly totalled, as in it (extremely unhappily) managed to limp me home at about 3 miles an hour, screaming the entire way. [It was a back road and I was afraid of another asshole coming along and driving right into my car before a tow truck could possibly get to me. And there was no place on the side of the road where I could safely wait for a tow truck.]
All my friends were like, “Oh no, did you get the plate number of the guy?” And I’m like, “Initially they were too far away, then their headlights were blinding me - and how they missed seeing the deers with those lights is beyond me. And by the time they were close enough for me to see a plate, there was a deer in the way.” Then they’re like, “Did you call your insurance company?” And I’m like, “Why in the world would I do that? What world do you live in? My car is 16 years old, they’d give me $500 and then raise my premiums a thousand dollars a year for the next decade.”
I hope that fucker in the truck/SUV wrecks their next five cars in ditches and bogs and gets stuck in snowbanks in the middle of winter for the next decade. Fucker.
I also had a deer hit me! It totally ran at the side of the truck, bounced off and then kept going back off the road. Was very weird.
Deer aren’t very smart. I had one walk straight into the side of my car when I was stopped at a stop sign once. This didn’t do any apparent damage to either the deer or the car. Just, thump. When I mention this to other people around the area they inevitably have a similar story of a deer doing basically the same thing.
I don’t think evolution is working quite fast enough to be doing these dummies any favors just yet.
Deer bolting and flailing around is a survival mechanism that makes them dangerous and hard for predators like wolves to catch. When they do it in enclosed spaces or around cars it seems weird, but it is just instinct kicking in.
I believe that. Around here everybody’s hit at least one.
I once exploded one. I was going pretty fast down a hill and the poor bastard stepped right out in front of my 1984 Grand Marquis.
When I say exploded, I mean EXPLODED. I had to hit the windshield wipers because all I could see was blood and grass.
He only knocked a chunk out of my plastic grill, and I only saw a few chunks of him at the location of impact.
Poor thing
When I was 10, I went on a trip to Venezuela. At this restaurant in Caracas, I went into the bathroom. It was a single person bathroom. For some reason the door had slide locks on both sides. While I was in there, some kid locked the door from the outside (I could see through a narrow gap). It was a real door, not a stall door. I couldn’t unlock it. I started panicking a little and kicking the door. Eventually a waiter let me out.
I’m still confused about why that door could be locked on the outside.
I heard about a Chinese Tourist couple going to somewhete in Southeast Asia (I think I was like Cambodia or Thailand, can’t quite remember), and in a restaurant the woman went to the bathroom while the husband (or boyfriend? forgot the details) waited, then a long time came by and he went to check and she wasn’t there, and there was another door in the bathroom, like a door within the bathroom that leads to a backdoor out of the restaurant or something, basically, someone entered through the other door (which doesn’t go through the main restaurant) and just kidnapped her. Local law enforcement couldn’t find her, and their embassy couldn’t do much.
She was found at a circus in I think the same country like 2 or 3 year later, very close to the restaurant they were at, and she no longer recognizes her husband, or any relatives for that matter, like she got brainwashed / memory lost or something.
That story was creepy as hell, no idea if it was true or some heresay shit. But I’m not surprised, tourists get kidnapped all the time.
Edit: Also, because of this story, my mom got afraid of certain bathrooms lol. Like we went to some national/state park in the US, and there are public bathrooms, and my mom (she told me the aforementioned story btw) saw some other door inside the bathroom (I think its for maintaince workers where they store cleaning tools something) and she got scared and was deciding if we should go somewhere else for bathroom, but ultimate decided to just use the bathroom and left the door unlocked while my dad waited outside. Nothing happened. But while we were leaving, some dude walked by and she got scared lol.
That sounds like a racist story made up to stoke fear.
I like your story, but what part of it nobody believe ?
