• sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 days ago

    New proposal for a functional definition of femcel:

    It has to include everyone on…

    https://www.reddit.com/r/MyBoyfriendIsAI/


    I’ll be real with ya’ll, 95% of people I encounter outside of this comm (which I love) use the word femcel as if it basically just means ‘socially awkward and/or romantically unsuccesful or disinterested cishet woman who has never had a serious relationship or sex, who is also potentially a misandrist’.

    Basically, just a cishet inversion of incel, over into a cishet girl/woman.

    Whereas the understanding that this community seems to have, is, as best I can tell, is that femcel means basically ‘hikkikomori/permaonline transwoman / femboy / nb + feminine expression, etc.’

    I’m really not trying to be mean, but it is somewhat difficult to manage the dissonance between how this comm seems to understand ‘femcel’, and how seemingly everyone else uses the term.

    Like, if I am wildly off base here, please correct me… I am confuse.

    • Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 days ago

      I’ve never actually heard femcel used outside of comms like this one.

      If anything, the only derogatory term I’ve heard for refering to misandrist permanently single women is “legbeard”.

    • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zoneM
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      2 days ago

      You’re not entirely wrong, but that’s kinda the point. It’s more of a vibe than a hard and fast definition; one that seeks to reject the most toxic elements of the inverted male incel. It’s more about being a “loser” in the eyes of the rest of society than it is grievances about relationships and sex. While inceldom is centered on their relationship to women, this place is rarely about that. Being a weirdo is far more important than being a virgin.

      Also, by virtue of this comm being fairly gay, we don’t need to worry as much about men. Unlike MGTOW who can’t escape their obsession with women, sapphic girls can actually go their own way.

      • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2 days ago

        Ok, I am glad that it just is kinda the point to claim or reclaim or distinctly have your own understanding/usage of the term, or however you would phrase that.

        I fear I am too autistic to fully comprehend ‘the vibe’, but… thats’s ok, lol.

        That’s the part I think I get, being a hikki weirdo, lol.

        But I am also a cis, generally masc-presenting, bi (trans inclusive) guy, so, there are elements at play that I don’t have direct lived experience with…

        … though I have had a good deal of transwomen, gay, lesbian, bi friends and such, and spent a good deal of time in just generally queer spaces, both online and in meatspace.

        Which I guess is just me overexplaining my weirdness.

        derp.