<3

Join our public Matrix server!

https://rentry.co/tracha#tracha-rooms

As a reminder, please do not discuss current struggle sessions in the mega. We want this to be a little oasis for all of us and the best way to do that is not to feed into existing conflict on the site.

Also, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It’s for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

  • lilypad [it/its, pup/pup's]@hexbear.netEnglish
    20·
    22 days ago
    i am not an identity state

    Hearing people talk about their identity is great! Other people expecting me to produce an identity is fucked. I am not a stative identity. Stative identity is bullshit. I am actions (well, lack thereof). How do people make these statements about themselves? Like, i only do it because people expect a statement, people expect a label, people expect me to be an identity. But im not an identity state, im an identity process.

    What i mean is, i am not a woman. I woman (verb). I am not a lesbian. I lesbian (verb). I am not a cyclist. I bike. I am not a gamer. I game. I am not a musician. I play music. I am not. I do. I am not a sub. I enjoy submitting. These statements of identity as a state one is in, they do not make sense. There is no thing. There is only isness.

    • TerminalEncounter [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      9·
      21 days ago
      spoiler

      I don’t tend to operate on that abstract level, I’m way more instinctive and embodied and trust my gut when she says “I am a woman” or “I am a nurse” or “I am creative” etc

      I do agree that who you are and what you believe is told by actions and that can be in tension or contradiction with what people say they believe (even only to themselves).

      Its a neat way to think of yourself as a process~

    • BountifulEggnog [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      8·
      21 days ago

      Identity for me is a label, a description of some group of traits. I’m trans because I have dysphoria and need to change how I am and how people perceive me. I’m an atheist because I don’t believe in a god or gods. I don’t necessarily like, identity as those things, I just am them. I fit into the box they describe.

    • dandelion [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      3·
      20 days ago

      tbh, static identity statements / concepts are so common for pragmatic reasons, the way they are used aren’t intended to imply some deeper metaphysical truth - lots of language works this way, communication is pragmatic more than it is precise or true (logical positivism died for reasons)

      • lilypad [it/its, pup/pup's]@hexbear.netEnglish
        2·
        20 days ago

        Like, yeah, i get that its practical, but it also boxes me in, and most importantly it fundamentally isnt true, at least to my eyes. If i say im a thing, people expect me to perform their idea of that thing. Im not wanting to do that, so they say oh youre not that thing, youre something else, or your a poser, or whatever. They dont know what to do with me. Like, when i talk to people i use the language, but that doesnt make it true and doesnt mean that im that thing. Idk im probably not making a ton of sense. I guess what im saying is that it socially, the stative identity starts as a descriptor but quickly becomes a prescriptor, at least in my experience vivian-shrug