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I believe this can work on women too if you follow the basic rules:
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Be attractive
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Don’t be unattractive
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Last time I was on there a dude called me a “pretty lil cock sleeve” how do I get poetry?
be less pretty?
Damn why didn’t I think of that?
Y’all think it would be a good idea to date a guy? Low-key want to be loved, but I’m not gay and not attracted to men 😔 I could act though and get used to get it up my ass idk
I think if you’re not sexually or emotionally attracted to guys all you’re going to end up doing is hurting someone else. Like how a gay guy who isn’t attracted to women, has a relationship with a woman because he “should” and only ends up depressed themself and worse for their partner.
Well, I don’t have much choice. It’s either this or be lonely my whole life. Also my best friend is hitting on me hardcore, I might just learn how to love him back. But thanks for your input, it is also appreciated
Well, I don’t have much choice. It’s either this or be lonely my whole life.
What makes you say this friend?
Most women reject me due to the way I look. Single one that didn’t reject me was horrible to me and wanted me to off someone for her. I was trying to find a girlfriend 17 through 24 years, and only one who genuinely thinks that I’m wonderful is my best friend, who is a guy. Despite what other people say, I’m pretty good at brainwashing myself so I’m positive that I can make myself actually love him.
Look, I don’t know your personal circumstances, but I personally think that the person you are, rather than how you look, is more important to every one else who isn’t vapid and vain. If you seek out different groups, pursue hobbies and try to meet people that way, you’d pawbably have a better chance than seeking out a relationship. No promises though, I think younger people are just kind of over dating.
As for your friend. Well, maybe it works well for a while, maybe you convince yourself you’re happy. But sexuality isn’t a choice, and the chance it ends up in heatbreak is likely greater than not. That said, the fact you’re even considering it could be a sign that you do actually have some homosexual tendencies, that you might be suppressing due to internalised homophobia.
Maybe I am suppressing it, who knows. I’ll talk to him about it first. Would be good to know what “seeking out groups” means, a lot of people tell me that but I literally don’t understand, I’m a bit slow with abstract language. With all the hobbies I have, one could think I’d already be in one by the time I finished college, but alas
Like, a group that meets up regularly either for social purposes or related to a hobby. You can find out about them from your local library or council, community centres, online spaces related to your location, etc.
I didn’t find proper social groups for me until I was like 30. It’s very difficult for me to socialize and it’s something I’ve had to put a lot of active work into. Not everyone finds what they’re looking for out of college, a lot of people don’t know what they’re even looking for until later. It can be lonely sometimes but like most things it is a skill you can improve on.
Until recently I was living in a city so depending where you live ymmv on this advice: For me I found my groups by going to lots of events. Even if I didn’t think I would like them. Regularly checking for cheap local concerts, meetups I’d hear about, if I saw any posters I’d take a picture and put it in my calendar. I’d say 80% of the time I learned I didn’t actually like the thing but it would get me talking to people. From there I could ask about similar events and if one of them sounded closer to what I wanted I’d go to that.
You really have to put yourself out there and be ready to walk up to people and just start talking (but also be ready to exit the conversation if it isn’t going well). It’s awkward and nerve wracking but you’ll slowly either get better or find those rare gems that love it when some rando shows up and can’t stop sweating while talking about Morrowind or whatever. If you’re like me it can help to bring a prop sometimes. I solve Rubik’s cubes. So if I’m not feeling like I can approach anyone I can sit near people and just solve that for a while and someone will get curious sooner or later and ask me about it which opens a conversation.
As others have said, no. Seek some therapy or something. Get out of your own head that you somehow are incapable of finding someone you’d actually be attracted to.
It’s a bit of a reversal, but my brother in law knew he was gay at least by the time he hit college. With how he was raised, he believed it was a sin and he tried to have relationships with women. He even got married to one. I can’t really explain well except to say that he really did try to love her. He troed hard enough for them to even adopt a daughter.
But it just wasn’t there. His wife even tried to allow him to see men on the side, but he couldn’t live that way. Keeping this core part of himself as an “off to the side” thing. He couldn’t pretend to be something he wasn’t. It was killing him from the inside out.
They divorced. He and her stayed friends, raised a good daughter. She found a guy that is actually into her, is nice, and they all get along.
My brother in law hasn’t found a husband, but he has had numerous long term relationships with other men that didn’t work out for one reason or another. And by not denying who he is, by not trying to be something he isn’t, he is so much happier than he ever was when he was trying to be something he wasn’t.
If you truly have some attraction to your friend, maybe give it a try. But from what you’ve posted here, this sounds definitively to be a cocktail of social isolation, desperation, and depression whispering lies into your ear. I get it. I’ve been there.
You have to learn to love yourself first.
Possibly also your friend being a creep. If they wouldn’t be your friend if you told them in no uncertain terms that you weren’t interested in them romantically and asked them to stop, they aren’t a friend.
I’m trying to help myself with this, because several therapists I’ve tried were just social workers that didn’t help much. Only good one I was recommended lives three cities away and costs an arm and a leg. But I keep slipping up constantly, as exercising and positive affirmations dont seem to work anymore, even running. It still feels good, but suicidal thoughts don’t desappear anymore.
I’m just a bit attracted to him since he’s kind to me and looks good, that’s why I even thought of something like that. And no, he’s not a creep I’m positive about that. I’ve rejected him once, and he is still my best friend and is kind to me all these years.
Also, thank you for your words. I appreciate it a lot
If you feel like you might be bi, there’s nothing wrong with exploring that, but when you’re feeling suicidal might not be the best time for either one of you.
It probably wouldn’t hurt to try? Maybe you’ll figure something out about yourself. Be open about what you’re doing though, wouldn’t want to break any hearts right?
Right… Forgot to think about the last part, thanks for reminding me
Think about it this way: if the woman you were dating, or married to for ten years, suddenly told you she wasn’t, and never had been, attracted to you, but was merely faking it the entire time because she wanted you to care for her, would you be aggrieved? Even if you tried to do it in the most earnest and caring manner possible, by trying to be the perfect partner and doing everything else that’s a part of a relationship besides being attracted to them, it would still be a horrendous gut punch to your partner when they found out.
If that happened I would end my life on the spot. But I’m sure I can become attracted to him. I can learn to be anything.
Wtf is this not a shitpost?
No, I’m genuinely thinking about it
Seek help
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oop ;-;
